Want to take your filthy texting to the next level by sending your intended a big, schlongy, real-life eggplant? An aubergine-o-gram, if you will, that lays it all out?
Well, you can! Or at least, you could.
You may have seen the story making the rounds in every channel in food media about Eggplant Mail, the site that would enable you to mail a real eggplant to someone inscribed with a message of your choosing, with the brand promise of being “100 percent Phallic 100 percent Anonymous 100 percent Disturbing.” Well, it seems the novelty of bringing everyone’s favorite phallic emoji to IRL proved to be too popular with the world, because the site has temporarily shut down. The current message says:
Are you here to buy a real life penis emoji? I'm sorry, this website is now for sale. The website auction is here. I started this as a silly dare, but now the website has gone viral I can't keep up with the demand. Too many people are asking me to mail phallic fruit for them. It's fun but it's also distracting me from my job. I think there is someone out there who would be perfect for this website. That someone could make lots of money mailing eggplants. In doing so they would bring happiness to the world. Who knows, maybe that someone is you? If you have any questions, send me an email at hello@eggplantmail.com.
My name is Jack and this was all an accident.
P.S. If you type in your email address below, we'll tell you when the site is back.
So it looks like your dream of sending your crush an aubergine inscribed with the text “thinking of you” will just have to wait. Unless you feel like taking matters into your own hands, so to speak, and bringing Eggplant Mail to life. For now, the website auction has eight bids, at $250.