In the course of a week, Pokémon Go has taken over the world. Within a few days, it drew more active users than Tinder or Twitter. It's taken over cities like New York, Chicago and LA. Heck, our moms are even playing it. So yes, move over Skynet.
But it's not all Jigglypuffs when it comes to Pokémon Go. Officials at the U.S. Holocaust Museum, the Auschwitz Memorial and Arlington National Cemetery have called for players of the game to stop using their sites of remembrance for playing a child's game. There's also been reports of robbers targeting Pokemon Go players at Poké Stops.
What is becoming clear is that the sort of social technology that Pokémon Go is pioneering is having a material effect on the way that people across the world live their lives. One positive outcome: some gamers out of their mothers' basements and into the world.
And then there are the negative effects. Like a Poké-induced dystopian future, which we fear could be close at hand. Here's how it will happen—and what it will look like.
1. Our currency turns into Poké Coins
Once you can buy all of your essential needs on the Pokémon Go shop, who will ever need real money again?
2. Tactfully-placed Pokémon lead people away from polling places on Election Day
Sure, your'e ready to cast your vote America's president this November—potentially the most consequential election ever!—but catching a MewTwo on the tip of Belmont Harbor is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
3. Teams dress up in their colors and physically defend their gyms
Gym prestige is a pretty big deal in the Pokémon Go universe, and there's nothing more frustrating than stupid Team Valor stealing a gym away from your team (go Team Mystic!). In light of that, (actual) turf wars are sure to spring up around different gyms across the country.
4. The first line of everyone's resume is now their level
Let's be honest, if you're a level 30 you should immediately get offered a job at NASA.
5. Criminals go through trial-by-Pokemon Battle rather than court
If a lot of money and a great team of lawyers can provide a level of immunity to the law, then having a souped-up Blastoise should do the same.
6. The government uses Pokestops to get citizens out of their homes during natural disaster evacuations
This could get pretty dark, but if the government (which will probably soon be taken over by our benevolent masters at Niantic, The Pokémon Company) wanted to purge a portion of the country's population, they could. By simply dropping a whole mess of rare Pokémon in a park during a Category 5 hurricane, we'd see how sheepish we truly are.
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