Stand-up comedian and actor Don Rickles passed away today as a result of kidney failure. He was 90 years old.
Known for voicing Mr. Potato Head in the Toy Story franchise and appearing regularly on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, Rickles was a legendary insult-swinging comedian that defined the comedy world. What better way to honor him and his work than through a compendium of his funniest, most memorable and overall best zingers ever?
15. "Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera."
14. "Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed."
13. "No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you."
12. "My grandchildren just know me now as Mr. Potato Head."
11. "I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book."
10. "I want to be a dog, but I'm a pussycat."
9. "Room service is great if you want to pay $500 for a club sandwich."
8. "Every night when I go out on stage, there's always one nagging fear in the back of my mind. I'm always afraid that somewhere out there, there is one person in the audience that I'm not going to offend!"
7. "Scorsese was our director. He had phone books under his ass so he could see the actors."
6. "Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black."
5. "I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew eventually I'd have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys."
4. "My mother was a Jewish General Patton."
3. "Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts."
2. "Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?"
1. "My wife came into my life, and my mother still wanted to be the boss."