The best McDonald’s menu items, ranked

One would thank wrapping a new McCrispy Strip in a tortilla, then throwing on some sauce and cheese would be a grand combination. But this is the food equivalent of wrapping a great Art Deco building in aluminum siding. The sauces, both the ranch and spicy, are two of the most spit-your-food-out salty, creamy messes I’ve ever encountered. The cheese is a raw, shredded version of the heavily processed stuff on the burgers, which, when unmelted, tastes like eating glue. The tortilla is equally sad, both cold and flavorless. Like a bad first date, it’s best to move along from this mistake as quickly as possible.

Price: $2.99

Calories: 380-390

Order with: Nothing on them. The chicken tender in the wrap alone is actually not bad. Add in some BBQ sauce and you may just save the thing.

I understand the temptation to gussy up the traditional McDonald’s burger. But there are better ways of adding more protein to your meal than simply adding bacon and cheese to the standard burger. The end product is… fine. Making it a double or a triple gives it a little more heft. But McDonald’s meats and cheeses, with a couple of exceptions, generally lack much flavor. And there’s just not enough on this burger to make it interesting, or worth the extra investment.

Price: $2.59

Calories: 370

Order as: A double or a triple. You’ll need more than the slim patty to feel full.

The Quarter Pounder with cheese has some potential. The larger, fuller patty gives the burger loads more flavor than its smaller counterparts, with just a hint of juiciness lingering after its time on the flattop. It’s the logical next step for adults graduating from the Happy Meal burger to a bigger, better, loaded version. The problem is, when the Quarter Pounder’s not prepared properly, it can suffer. If the pickles, onions, mustard and ketchup are all centered in the center of the burger—a common affliction at busy stores—the flavors don’t reach the entire thing. And unless you’ve got a plastic knife sitting in your car to spread them around, the concept falls flat.

Price: $7.19

Calories: 520

Order with: Barbecue sauce on the side and no condiments. It’s like McDonald’s version of the old smokehouse burgers they did at another chain, and a cool adaptation of the classic.

There’s an old saying about laws and sausages that also applies to McNuggets—those who like them should not watch them being made. Unfortunately, by now we’ve all been exposed to those unfortunate viral videos of pink goo, which you’d do well to keep out of your head while enjoying a McNugget. Because the lean, ground chicken that makes America’s signature chicken nugget is actually pretty good, making for an easy-to-eat, not overly greasy fried snack that’s especially delicious with barbecue sauce. 

Calories: 170 (4 pieces)

Price: $3.19 (4 piece)

Order with: Sweet and sour sauce. Toss your McNuggets in it and you’ve got a decent take on Chinese sweet and sour chicken. You’ve definitely had worse.

Give the McDonald’s R&D team some credit. Rather than burying their heads in the sand during the great spicy chicken sandwich wars, they quietly came out with their own version without much fanfare. They also knew this zinged-up version of the classic McChicken couldn’t compete with Chick-fil-A or Popeye’s, so they didn’t put a ton of marketing dollars behind it. It’s a good enough sandwich, using a whole, unground chicken breast and covering it in a spicy fried batter that’s a little more interesting than the original McChicken. It’s not the best spicy chicken sandwich out there, but it feels a little more natural than the McNuggets and less processed than the burgers.

Calories: 530

Price: $5.19

Order with: More of an “order without.” McDonald’s could take a hint from its competitors and let the spicy chicken stand alone. The creamy sauce it adds on top is vile and ruins the sandwich.

Probably the only burger in the world known better as a song than a hamburger, the Big Mac is a classic. The big reason: The “secret” sauce, that’s essentially thinned-out Thousand Island, giving the Big Mac sweet overtones to complement the saltiness of the meat and the pickles. The sesame seed bun makes the Big Mac even sweeter, activating those dopamine receptors and making this arguably the most addictive fast-food burger on the franchise row. But the bun can be too much of a good thing—the signature middle bun makes the burger extra bready, filling you up on more carbs than protein.

Calories: 580

Price: $6.72

Order with: Fries and a Coke. It’s more American than apple pie.

Never one to miss out on a food trend, McDonald’s went full-on into the chicken tenders moment with this whole-meat take on the classic McNugget. While they’re not nearly as dippable as their pureed-and-formed predecessors, the strips bring a better texture and spicier breading to the table. In the grand realm of fast-food chicken tenders, they’re light years behind Raising Cane’s and Zaxby’s, but hold their own for tendie lovers who happen to find themselves in the friendly confines of a Mickey D’s. 

Calories: 350 (3 pieces)

Price: $5.49

Order with: A bun. You might get a funny look (and definitely can’t do it from the ordering kiosks), but the McCrispy Strips between bread are better than the McChicken, especially when covered in a mix of BBQ and Buffalo sauce.

Objectively, this might not be the best burger on the menu. But McDonald’s trades as much in nostalgia as it does flavor, and one bite of the original McDonald’s hamburger brings you right back to playing in a ball pit and trying to escape from Officer Big Mac’s mouth. It’s the after-school, after-practice, pester-your-mom for hours flavor you craved as a kid, the soft hints of pickles and onion bits soaking into the beef and the sweet bun. It’s a flavor you know anywhere, and one your brain will immediately recognize. The McDonald’s burger is almost poetic in its connection to simpler times, and for that, it might be the only thing on the menu that is always worth ordering.

Calories: 250-300

Price: $1.99

Order with: A Happy Meal. If you’re going for nostalgia, go all in.

McDonald’s fries are the best fast food fries on the market. When they’re hot. These things have a sliding scale, starting with a 10/10 and losing about a point every 90 seconds until they’re soggy, sad, over-processed potatoes. There may be no faster and more dramatic decline in the entire food world, which is why the only acceptable ways to eat McDonald’s fries are in the restaurant or in your car. Bonus points if said fries are the stragglers at the bottom of the bag.

Calories: 230

Price: $2.49

Order with: Pepper. Dousing the fries in pepper gives them a little more shelf life and makes them almost edible when cold.

Filet-o-Fish has a kind of cult classic status among McDonald’s devotees, as those in the know will tell you it’s low-key a pretty decent fish sandwich. Don’t let the appearance fool you—the perfect square of fried fish doesn’t exactly scream “Wild Caught Atlantic Halibut.” But take a bite with tartar sauce and American cheese and you’ll get the experience of a suped-up fish stick, with a piece of pollock and other ingredients that’s surprisingly not-fishy. It evokes memories of the old fast-food seafood chains like Skipper’s and Long John Silver’s, and might even be better. 

Calories: 380

Price: $5.29

Order with: Extra tartar sauce. Its tanginess makes the sandwich, and unlike a lot of the sauces on the menu, it adds to the experience.

One could argue that McDonald’s dessert menu is an entirely different animal than its main menu and should be treated as such. While we don’t necessarily disagree, we would also be remiss to write a story about the best things to order at McDonald’s without a shout-out to the great apple pie. It was the OG hot pocket, the little, portable pie that somehow tastes as good as the stuff your mom made. Its flaky crust, caramel-y filling, and whole pieces of apple give it more authenticity than anything on the menu.

Calories: 230

Price: $2.39

Order with: Vanilla ice cream for a little pie à la mode.

Anyone who regularly drinks diet soda will tell you, there’s McDonald’s Diet Coke, and then there’s everything else. Why is it so much better than the fountain Diet Coke you get in restaurants? Much like the secret sauce, nobody will say, because the Diet Coke secret may actually be more valuable. It’s somehow sweeter, crisper, and less chemical-tasting than any other Diet Coke in the world, including the one you get at the Coca-Cola Museum in Atlanta. Every other item on this list has an equivalent in another restaurant  that could argue its superiority. But not Diet Coke, and for that unquestioned supremacy it ranks No. 1.

Calories: 0

Price: $2.89

Order with: Ice. McDonald’s Diet Coke is the temperature inverse of the fries.