Jimmy Valentine's Lonely Hearts Club

It takes a little work to find this hidden (cash-only) gem on the outskirts of the H Street corridor: The windows are blacked out, and there’s nothing but a dim light outside to signal its existence. Inside, the one-room joint is awash in red light and covered in bizarre Communist-inspired art. There’s a wall of costumes for borrowing if you’re in an Eyes Wide Shut kind of mood, and a cramped stairwell outback that always leads to mingling. (Be sure to grab a free condom from one of the jars on the bar.) On Fridays, PBR tallboys start at $1 and increase by $1 ever hour till midnight. Still, there’s probably no better bang for your buck than the Mr. Lethal, an alcohol-laced root beer slushie that’s as strong as this place is awesome.