Band Against: Ultimate Battle Championship Of The Bands

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Band Against: Ultimate Battle Championship Of The Bands
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The event creator says
"Have you ever been walking through a show and heard this?
“Did you see Half Acid trying to play music the other day?” – Greg, Half Acid
“No, none of us did.” – Evan, Dandyls

Or maybe you’ve been strolling through Underground Atlanta and spotted some people talking:
“Suffer Dragon sounds like a rock eating a balloon.” – Paul, Floral Print

We sure as fuck have. They say this shit all the time.

“Okay, so first off: Fuck the Dandyls.” – Parks, DIP

These bands are ready to rip each other to shreds!

“Mercer’s just an idiot with a gig bag!” – Daniel, Suffer Dragon

“Man’s Trash fucking sucks. Seriously just blows!” – Nathan, Floral Print

WE KNOW.

So fuck them. They’re going to battle.
And it’s going to happen like this:

Two bands will take the stage and play their music

AT THE SAME TIME.

First, it’s going to be FLORAL PRINT vs. MANS TRASH, which doesn’t fucking matter at all – except that

THERE WILL BE A WINNER.

And then HALF ACID and SUFFER DRAGON will furiously do

THE SAME THING.

Then, of course, DIP will settle their childish feud with the DANDYLS, and

PRAISE GOD SOMEONE WILL WIN.

Then, in a frenzy of dominance, all three of the winners will battle and determine who will take on - and be humiliated before tens of people by -

THE VERY DEMENTED AND REPUTATIONALLY-IMMUNE SECRET BOSS

in

THE VERY DEMENTED AND REPUTATION-DETERMINING BOSS BATTLE OF BLOOD,

whose outcome our Seven Judges

Martha Bailey
Claire Brooks
David Gray
Sean Haley
Robby Kee
Unisa Asokan
And
The Audience via Sheer Volume

WILL DETERMINE WITH SCORN.

FUCK MUSIC.

Mammal Galley, 91 Broad
9 o’clock
$5

(Leviticus 17:11)"
-david gray
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