Birmingham and the West Midlands contain such a rich variety of lewd-sounding street names that people often assume that our local councils were once infiltrated by members of the 'Carry On' team. Here are just a few of our favourites:
Allcock Street, Digbeth, B9
Not a sly reference to Digbeth's burgeoning hipster scene. Not at all.
Balls Street, Walsall, WS1
It should have been a cul-de-sac.
Beaver Close, Wolverhampton, WV11
Surely this is Wolverhampton's tribute to Leslie Nielsen?
(It's not... and don't call me Shirley)
Bell End, Rowley Regis, B65
Well played, Rowley Regis. Well played.
The Butts, Walsall, WS4
A 10 minute walk from Balls Street. You're good at this, Walsall...
Bush Grove, Walsall, WS3
...Almost too good.
Cock Hill Lane, Rednal, B45
Not far from the equally dodgy-sounding 'Lickey Hills'.
Emmanuel Road, Wylde Green, B73
If 1974 French movie 'Emmanuelle' became a by-word for (ahem) certain types of films, then 1978's 'Carry On Emmanuelle' must have seemed like the 'Batman v Superman' of smut.
(Aficionados of the genre should note that nearby Walmley has a Vixen Close...)
Hardon Road, Wolverhampton, WV4
Oh, Wolverhampton - you just had to go there, didn't you?
(See also Horne Way, Shard End)
Ladycroft, Edgbaston, B16
Oh Edgbaston – you and your fancy euphemisms.
(See also Hole Lane, Northfield)
Long Wood, Bournville, B30
Idyllic Bournville, that Shangri-La of suburban sobriety, with its ornate cricket pavilions and big chocolate factory. But wait – what's this hidden in the shrubbery?
Guess it's true what they say about those Oompa Loompas...
Lovelace Avenue, Solihull, B91
Linda Lovelace was the star of notorious X-rated '70s flick 'Deep Throat'. Don't Google it at work.
Lye Close Lane, Quinton, B32
No, Quinton – if you don't mind I'd rather take the sofa.
(See also Loyns Close, Chelmsley Wood)
Mount Pleasant, Kings Heath
Kings Heath, you're one smooth-talking suburb.
Stud Lane, Stechford, B33
Ooh, look at you Stechford, with your big gold medallion and Burt Reynolds' moustache...
Can you think of any more rude roads? Are there any we've missed? Just let us know.
Tom is a mostly funny writer and occasional stand-up comedian. His humorous hors d'oeuvres can be found in large helpings over at tomlennon.com. Follow him on Twitter @tomlennon.
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