For those who favor five-star hotel spas: gird your loins. Dillons Russian Steambath, a 120-something-year-old Chelsea treasure, lets you dip a toe in the grand Russian tradition of schvitzing. For $23, you’ll sweat out the toxins in the wet sauna and steam bath; an extra 13 bucks earn you the privilege of a thorough branch beating—aka the platza massage. Oh, and ladies? You’re only allowed to come on Mondays from 4-9pm, September through May.