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33 more things that will definitely happen to you when you move to Israel

Don't Mess with the Zohan

The list that keeps on giving...


1. You will try out veganism for a week, then settle for eating vegan food as long as you can keep schnitzel a part of your daily diet.

2. You will fall in love at first sight...with sabich.

3. You will ignore the taste of Maccabi 7.9% beer and opt for its brute strength.

4. You will develop strong feelings about graffiti, cats, and bike lanes.

5. You will encounter many a hipster.

6. You will accidentally show up to an empty office and realize you forgot about some sort of Jewish holiday.

7. You will push John Hugh's aside once you experience the real Breakfast Club.

8. You will have a standoff with a cat.

9. You will be disappointed that late night delivery is not really "a thing" here; you won't be disappointed by the impressive array of drunk food joints within walking distance that are open at 3 a.m.

10. You will gain a whole new understanding of contemporary dance.

11. You will feel guilty about buying produce at the AM:PM instead of the Shuk...however, the 'AmPam' will become your best frenemy.

12. You will see a spectacular sunrise (whether climbing Masada or grabbing the drunk early bird special at Benedict).

13. You will become so accustomed to having the Mediterranean in your own backyard that you'll have to start reminding yourself to look out and admire it during a walk along the boardwalk.

14. You will never tire of a beachside sunset though.

15. You will learn to stomach arak shots even if you hate the taste of anise.

16. You will find your go-to cafe where the barista will have your coffee order memorized.

17. You will learn to scream 'nahag!' when trying to get off the bus...whether you know what it means or not.

18. You will learn that not all apartments come with refrigerators and/or stoves. Get out that microwave mug cake cookbook your mom got you for Hanukkah – you're about to relive your University dorm years.

19. You will chill out (though it might be all that second hand weed you're inhaling at the bar).

20. You will learn the true monetary worth of happy hour.

21. You will stop going to the beach as much as you should.

22. You will get lost on a hike in Mitzpe Ramon.

23. You will get dehydrated , even if you are sitting at a desk job all day.

24. You will go see some outdated International rock icon that you'd never buy tickets for if they came to your home country...and find a way to enjoy it.

25. You will yearn for a dryer to match your unpredictable, unruly washing machine.

26. You will make just enough to pay rent, with a little leftover for 6 shekel falafel.

27. You will pioneer a start-up of some kind.

28. You will taste freshly squeezed orange will never drink Tropicana again.

29. You will invite a family member to visit from abroad just to bring you a long list of pharmacy items from back home.

30. You will order something off probably won't fit right, come to the wrong address, or you'll find out you never had a mailbox to begin with, yet share the same address with the entire neighborhood block.

31. You will taste tubi and feel intrigued, yet oddly violated.

32. You will learn to love lukewarm water - and its subtle hints of what taste like tubi.      

33. You will never want to leave Israel.

Check out The 21 toughest things about being single in Tel Aviv.


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