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Illustration: Matthew Brazier

21 ways Lizzo is simply too iconic for words

Why 21? Blame it on my juice, baby...

By Nick Levine

This year Melissa ‘Lizzo’ Jefferson took a DNA test... yup, you guessed it: turns out, she really, really is 100 percent that bitch. As the 31-year old prepares for her biggest London headline shows yet, here’s a glut of reasons why the US singer-songwriter and all-round force of nature totally owned pop in 2019.

1. Her song ‘Truth Hurts’ reached Number One in the US, nearly two years after it was first released.

2. She calls her fans the ‘Lizzbians’. Low-key genius, tbh.

3. Her flute has its own Instagram account with 265,000 followers. Or should that be woodwinstagram?

4. She paid tribute to ‘Sister Act 2’ – definitely one of the greatest sequels of all time – in her performance of ‘Juice’ at this year’s MTV Movie Awards. That means Whoopi Goldberg has to be a shoo-in to star in Lizzo’s next video, right?

5. She appeared in ‘Hustlers’ and easily matched J.Lo and Cardi B for superstar charisma.

6. She collaborated with actual Missy Elliott on trap jam ‘Tempo’, and forward-thinking pop queen Charli XCX on ‘Blame It on Your Love’. Legends stan legends.

7. ‘Good as Hell’ became a hit in the UK – more than three years after it was first released. And now Ariana Grande’s jumped on a remix, sending it into the top ten.

8. She made ‘bye bitch’ a thing. But it only really works followed by an iconic Lizzo cackle as someone drives you away in a golf buggy.

9. She’s a classically trained flautist who’s played the flute in a strip club. Next step: Lizzo and the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra launch a residency at Metropolis in Bethnal Green?

10. ‘Truth Hurts’ helped to popularise the term ‘100% that bitch’ – coined by singer Mina Lioness – to such an extent that Lizzo tried to copyright it.

11. She’s an advocate for body-positivity who refuses to be patronised. ‘When people look at my body and be like, “Oh my God, she’s so brave,” it’s like, “No, I’m not, I’m just fine. I’m just me. I’m just sexy,” ’ Lizzo told Glamour magazine. ‘If you saw Anne Hathaway in a bikini on a billboard, you wouldn’t call her brave. I just think there’s a double standard when it comes to women.’

12. She’s just as quotable in interviews, telling NME: ‘If I feel worthy and wanted, then everybody gonna want to eat my pussy.’

13. She used Twitter to audition to play Ursula in the ‘Little Mermaid’ reboot. Melissa McCarthy got the role, but Lizzo will always be Ursula in memeland.

14. She OWNED Glastonbury this year, reducing a packed West Holts stage to a quivering-yet-ebullient mass of people with her soul-stirring message of self-love (‘I want you to know that if you can love me, you can love your goddamn self’).

15. Her song ‘Juice’ features the line ‘I’m the pudding in the proof’, which doesn’t entirely make sense but sounds iconic anyway. It also features the equally iconic line: ‘No, I’m not a snack at all. Look, baby, I’m the whole damn meal.’

16. She’s such a boss on stage that she’s gone from performing at 350-capacity Omeara last year to 5,000-capacity O2 Academy Brixton this year. After Lizzo’s amazing performance at the MTV VMAs in August, Rihanna slid into her DMs to say she’d ‘fucked the stage like it was her side bitch’.

17. She knocks back Patrón from her own super-blingy customised bottle, also seen at the VMAs.

18. This year’s ‘Cuz I Love You’ album is actually Lizzo’s third, so she’s proof that the music industry can still produce a slow-burning success story. Oh, and it should never be forgotten that she named her debut album ‘Lizzobangers’.

19. She served some legendary lewks in her Billboard cover story. Put it this way: where ordinary mortals might wear a basic flower crown, Lizzo wears a bloomin’ huge horticultural headdress.

20. She also smashed it on the red carpet at the Met Gala in a resplendent pink-and-white Marc Jacobs feathered cape that she also wore to sashay through JFK airport the next day. Casual.

21. Oh, and her Instagram stories are the lolziest in pop – sorry, Lewis Capaldi.

Lizzo plays O2 Brixton Academy on Wed Nov 6 and Thu Nov 7. 

Check out more great gigs happening in November here





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