20 excuses that only work in Miami

Maybe it’s the Miami accent that makes the rest of the world feel like we speak a different language. Or perhaps it’s our affinity for strong coffee that makes us more passionate than most. Whatever it is, Miamians are cut from a different cloth altogether, so it’s no wonder our excuses for perpetual tardiness and unapologetic loudness can seem a little offbeat. From dressing a certain way because you’re feeling super bloated to skipping carbs because you’re getting ready for regatta, some excuses only make sense in the 305.

1. “Sorry, yo no espique inglés.”

 

A video posted by Ranflow Santana (@ranflow) on Apr 10, 2016 at 2:08pm PDT

2. “I couldn’t find a parking spot so I had to turn around and go home.”

Solo en #Miami! Lol!
😜
Only in Miami! #Parqueo #Parking #Latinos #Lol pic.twitter.com/x2kulKhmwk

— Cecilia Ramirez H (@CeciliaRamirezH) May 21, 2016

3. “I’m late, running on Cuban time.”

 

A photo posted by Jas Red (@jasyred) on Jun 30, 2016 at 12:03pm PDT

4. “I can’t make the 3pm meeting. It cuts into my cafecito break.”

 

A photo posted by Jhoel Lopez (@jhoellopez01) on Jul 5, 2016 at 7:48am PDT

5. “I’m not eating carbs. I gave them up for Lent.”

6. “I can’t work out this week, I’m getting my boobs done.”

7. “Running 30 minutes late—stuck on the Palmetto.”

#tráfico para agarrar la #palmetto sur #Miami #trafficmiami pic.twitter.com/fRGAkQC5vJ

— Erika Marcano (@ErikaMarcano) March 18, 2016

8. “I have to take off my shoes in South Beach and walk barefoot because my feet are literally killing me.”

Midnight stroll. #barefoot #Miami pic.twitter.com/PJ7bpQLO3T— Nikita Singh (@singh_nikita) March 22, 2015

9. “I have to cancel on Sunday’s awesome boozy brunch plans. My [family member] is having a party.”

 

A video posted by lisbetgia (@lisbetgia) on Jul 4, 2016 at 12:42am PDT

10. “I can’t right now. I’m on a boat.”

 

A photo posted by Carlitos Perez-Ruiz (@carlitos) on Apr 9, 2016 at 2:35pm PDT

11. “I didn’t get your call because I dropped my iPhone in the water at the sandbar this weekend."

 

A photo posted by Matty Ohh (@matty_ohh12) on Jul 3, 2016 at 2:03pm PDT

12. “That wasn’t me you saw at the Columbus Day Regatta. It was my sister.”

 

A photo posted by TinKin Life (@tinkinlife) on Oct 13, 2013 at 4:47pm PDT

13. “I can’t wear a suit to the meeting. It’s hot as balls.”

 

A photo posted by Hank Justice (@iamhankjustice) on Jul 20, 2015 at 12:54pm PDT

14. “I’m not hungry. I just had una croqueta.”

 

A video posted by Robert Marin (@robertm305) on Dec 3, 2015 at 11:29am PST

15. “I only cut you off because you were driving slowly.”

 

A video posted by Ingrid V.💇🏼 (@iggy_on_the_go) on Apr 5, 2016 at 11:31am PDT

16. “I don’t do drugs … except for Ultra.”

17. “We can’t hook up because my parents are home.”

The Cuban big brother! #quepasausa #chaperone #cuban #adela #abuelas pic.twitter.com/sRyH9eBxoP

— ¿Que Pasa, U.S.A.? (@quepasa_usa) April 10, 2014

18. “I’m busy tonight. My friend is having a getty.”

19. “Let’s go to Brickell tonight—South Beach is such a mission.”

20. “I’m not yelling! I’m Cuban!”

We're Not Yelling!We're Cuban American! That's How We Speak! pic.twitter.com/gEEsY8rqbu

— Sports Fan Miami (@SportFan305) September 26, 2014