Miamians have been called a lot of things… but never modest. We talk a big game, live out loud and like to show it all off on Instagram. Can you blame us? Take one look at our beaches and you’ll see why we’re so smug. But Miami’s coastline is just a single (and very obvious) point of pride for locals. Here, we list all of the other things that we are weirdly proud of (most of which we don’t shut up about).
1. Putting very expensive rims on a car and constantly obsessing about their price, shine and overall appearance.
2. Boats—being on one, buying one, knowing friends who have them, saving up for one.
3. Proximity to the Florida Keys even if we only get down there once every five years.
4. Going to a club and popping bottles. Lots of bottles.
5. Our ability to tolerate large amounts of alcohol.
6. Sneaking alcohol into places we shouldn’t.
7. Staying out late, like party-through-the-night-into-brunch late.
8. Mad parallel-parking skills.
9. What private school we went to.
10. Our friends. “Yo, do you know my boy, X?!”
11. Connections to someone in the service industry. You need a nanny, housekeeper, party planner, drug dealer—I got you.
12. Miami’s reputation as the (former?) cocaine capital of the U.S.
13. A superhuman ability to tolerate heat and humidity.
14. Miami’s area code, even though we technically have two—305 'till I die!
15. Not having to buy mangoes or avocados because everyone has a tree (or your neighbor does and it’s OK to steal so long as it’s fruit).
16. Owning cars with heated seats even though the temperature never drops below 70 degrees.
17. City-wide celebrations led by people banging pots and pans.
18. Anything we make in a Caja China.
19. Owning an obnoxiously loud car and revving the engine every single chance we get.
20. Speeding.
21. Avoiding speeding tickets.
22. Pitbull.
23. Talking about doing and/or selling drugs.
24. The Marlins and the Dolphins—even though they’re really, really bad.
25. We were part of the Real Housewives franchise.
26. Attending the same party or event as a Real Housewife.
27. Making national news, even though it’s generally for awful things like Zika or flesh-eating dudes.
28. We survived a hurricane and threw one hell of a party while it was passing through.
29. We host Ultra!
30. Our command of the Spanglish language.
31. That people still play dominoes in the parks in Little Havana.
32. Celebrities love to come to Miami, get smashed and do things like drag race through our neighborhoods. (Hello, Biebs!)
33. Miami Vice, Will Smith’s “Welcome to Miami, The Real World: Miami and any other television show that’s based on Miami—no matter how much it sucks.
34. That’s so Miami!
35. We have some of the worst drivers in America.
36. You or someone you know is either a real estate agent, lawyer, bartender or bottle girl.
37. To have had plastic surgery, seem like having had plastic surgery or saving up to get some plastic surgery.
38. Having a year-round tan.
39. Miami sunsets. Admit it, they’re fucking awesome. #nofilter
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