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Photograph: Unsplash/Jason Briscoe

The 27 guiltiest pleasures of living in Miami

Virginia Gil
Written by
Virginia Gil

Miamians live a fabulous life. We pop bottles in South Beach, dine at incredible restaurants and go to the beach any time we want. We also do things like steal fruit from our neighbors, lie to our bosses to avoid traffic and, when given the choice, would rather drink $1 coffee from a tiny window than get it from a snobby barista. Oh, and we’ll never be on time for anything—ever—and we’re not ashamed to admit it. Here are more of our guiltiest pleasures of living in Miami. Tell us yours in the comments (if you dare).

1. Ordering two croquetas and a cortadito at Versailles and calling it lunch

2. Shamelessly partying until sunrise #sorrynotsorry

3. Driving like a giant asshole—speeding, swerving, cutting people off—and getting away with it

4. Showing up 30 minutes late to everything

5. Going to the beach in December

6. Knowing someone who knows someone who knows someone who owns a boat

7. Leaving the office to find cafecito (cold brew won’t cut it at 3pm)

8. Picking mangos and avocados from your neighbor’s yard instead of buying them from the grocery store

9. Waking up to the smell of Fabuloso

10. Having a boss that expects you to be late—Cuban time is real!

11. Going to Marlins Park just for the food

12. Scarfing down pastelitos for breakfast

13. Rooting for the Hurricanes even you didn’t go to the University of Miami

14. Picking the arepa cart over the hot dog cart in Downtown every single time

15. Paying $2.99 for a full breakfast at a Cuban cafeteria

16. Buying coladas from walk-up coffee windows 24/7

17. Going clubbing 24/7

18. Staging photo shoots at the Wynwood Walls

19. Getting your nails done at 6am in someone’s home “salon”

20. Leaving the house wearing rolos

21. Knowing exactly which neighborhoods require you to pay the parking meter and “forgetting” to pay at all the others (South Miami and Coral Gables will always f* you every time)

22. Running a yellow light (maybe not your proudest moment)

23. Leaving work early because you have a “doctor’s appointment” but you’re really going to get your hair done

24. Asking your boss to work from home so that you can make it to the bar in time for happy hour (you won’t let traffic get in the way of a cheap drink)

25. Speaking Spanglish

26. Wearing flip flops year round

27. Calling in sick to work on account of beach weather

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