The Paris 2024 Summer Olympic Games are in full swing and national pride is peaking as the U.S. leads the way. In Miami, however, we stay humble. We took to social media to gauge what locals consider our top, Olympic-athlete-level skills. Rather than take this opportunity to brag, most of you dear readers went the other direction.
If Miamians were to win a gold medal in something, what would it be? Deftly wielding our cafeteras to make highly potent cafecitos? Staring down hurricanes with little to zero preparation? Or maybe going to the beach like it’s our actual job?
Nearly 350 of you weighed in, and the comments were entertaining, to say the least. Miami, we might not be perfect, but at least we’re self-aware! Keep reading for some of the highlights, and let’s just hope none of these become official Olympic sports anytime soon.
If Miamians were to win a gold medal in something, what would it be?
- Bad driving
- Brazilian Butt-Lifting
- Beer pong 🏓🍻
- Being late
- Being shady 😂
- Bouginess
- Chancleta throwing 🥇
- Changing 5 lanes in 50 yards to take an exit
- Chisme 😂
- Colada shots
- Complaining about New Yorkers
- Consecutive partying 💃🏻 🕺🏽
- Croquetas
- Drinking cafecitos
- Fastest time making espumita pal cafe
- Fastest time to beep once the light turns green
- Fraud
- Gold-digging
- Hablando y comiendo mierda
- Iguana hunting
- Longest DMV lines
- Most beautiful and fit citizenry
- Only Fanning
- Over-charging
- Parking everywhere but a driveway
- Plastic surgery
- Puteria, chusmeria, chancla throwing, espumita making… the list is long!
- Road rage
- Saying “dalé” for everything
- Skipping lines
- Speaking el Spanglish
- Talking on speakerphone in public
- Tener las patas sucias
- They wouldn’t show up on time for the competition anyway
- Ventanitas ☕️
- Worst customer service