Here’s what Miamians would win a gold medal in, according to themselves

The Paris 2024 Summer Olympic Games are in full swing and national pride is peaking as the U.S. leads the way. In Miami, however, we stay humble. We took to social media to gauge what locals consider our top, Olympic-athlete-level skills. Rather than take this opportunity to brag, most of you dear readers went the other direction.

If Miamians were to win a gold medal in something, what would it be? Deftly wielding our cafeteras to make highly potent cafecitos? Staring down hurricanes with little to zero preparation? Or maybe going to the beach like it’s our actual job?

Nearly 350 of you weighed in, and the comments were entertaining, to say the least. Miami, we might not be perfect, but at least we’re self-aware! Keep reading for some of the highlights, and let’s just hope none of these become official Olympic sports anytime soon.

If Miamians were to win a gold medal in something, what would it be?

1. Bad driving
2. Brazilian Butt-Lifting
3. Beer pong 🏓🍻
4. Being late
5. Being shady 😂
6. Bouginess
7. Chancleta throwing 🥇
8. Changing 5 lanes in 50 yards to take an exit
9. Chisme 😂
10. Colada shots
11. Complaining about New Yorkers
12. Consecutive partying 💃🏻 🕺🏽
13. Croquetas
14. Drinking cafecitos
15. Fastest time making espumita pal cafe
16. Fastest time to beep once the light turns green
17. Fraud
18. Gold-digging
19. Hablando y comiendo mierda
20. Iguana hunting
21. Longest DMV lines
22. Most beautiful and fit citizenry
23. Only Fanning
24. Over-charging
25. Parking everywhere but a driveway
26. Plastic surgery
27. Puteria, chusmeria, chancla throwing, espumita making… the list is long!
28. Road rage
29. Saying “dalé” for everything
30. Skipping lines
31. Speaking el Spanglish
32. Talking on speakerphone in public
33. Tener las patas sucias
34. They wouldn’t show up on time for the competition anyway
35. Ventanitas ☕️
36. Worst customer service