The Clevelander Hotel on South Beach is known as a place for pouring shots down the caverns of well-bronzed bodies; where drunk revelers slide into the pool with their phones in their pockets and absolutely could not care less. It’s a bounty of bouncers and DJs pumping music in four-four time; of bikinis flashing neon through mesh cover-ups and tribal bicep tats bulging out of homemade tanktops. But eating there? Like, actually ordering a meal? No, no. It’s definitely not that—at least, not until Kush arrived.
As you may know, Kush is a locally grown chain of pub restaurants serving up city-best burgers, stellar fritas and frog legs with the power to possibly change your mind about frog legs. For its latest trick, Kush has taken up residence in the Clevelander, marrying two opposing yet quintessentially Miami things, sort of like if A-Rod and Andy Garcia got hitched. But this seemingly odd union might just be a perfect match. Just imagine the untold numbers of juicy, Kush-branded burgers being fed into the hungry baby-bird mouths of South Beach’s buzzed masses.
Kush at Clevelander holds down a sliver of a spot behind the pool, a bright-even-at-night space that feels like it could flip into a full-on rager at the drop of a hat. It’s comprised of a long bar with a few high-tops and booths where larger groups can congregate around sustenance and (more) drinks after all that poolside liquor. Like other Kush spots, Clevelander gets the Miami-fied kitsch treatment. The focal point here is a painting that reimagines Dan Marino as a dreamy demi-god of the seas accompanied by a neon sign that proclaims: “Miami, a sunny place for shady people.” If you’d rather pass on the Disney-for-adults dive bar vibe inside, the menu is also available out by the pool area, which features hold-my-beer-level dinner entertainment propelled by frozen margaritas and tonight’s blasting Latin-EDM DJ.
As far as the menu, it’s filled with the things that made Kush a thing, like a fairly straightforward Cuban sandwich. Wings here are slathered in one of three traditional sauces including a very sweet barbecue. Bang-bang shrimp also arrives in a sweet and gooey sauce, accented by a dusting of spice mix on the side that somebody scribbled “305” into. The mushrooms, fried and stacked-up slices of soft portobello, come with that same spice mix graffiti to remind you that you’re in Pitbull’s Miami. The frita is the same one you’ll find at other Kush restaurants, pressed and sweetened with a guava jelly that helps it consistently earn accolades and get discussed online using sexy talk.
About now is when we should probably wrap up this review. But hold on, because a group of tourists just arrived at the Clevelander’s roped-off entrance looking like they spent the night enjoying their own punch-bowl-sized cocktails, and we’re going to need to see where this goes. We’re guessing at least a few Kush-stamped burgers will be involved, along with ample body shots. And someone, on purpose or not, will end up in that pool. It’s all the kind of thing you expect at the Clevelander, now with Miami’s own brand of kitschy comfort food to wash it all down.
