There’s no shame in San Francisco’s game. For generations, we’ve proudly lived our lives out in the open, regardless of what anyone else might think. This transparency and authenticity is what makes us one of the most unique, accepting cities in the world. In fact, engaging in any of the following behaviors in public might draw attention in another city, but here in SF, we don’t bat an eye, honey.
1. Eat on public transit
Complete with knife and fork, passengers dine on Muni or BART as if they’re sitting at a prime table in Gary Danko. Unfazed by the bumps of the ride and smells of the food, local public transit riders love to save time by downing a complete, multi-course meal during their commute.
2. Have sex
From the bushes at Golden Gate Park to the Folsom Street Fair, a public sex act is NBD is SF, CA. While tours of porn palace Kink.com are available to all, you don’t need a ticket to see some sexy (or often, not so sexy) action on the streets. Some of us are still emotionally recovering from the BART sex viral video. In a city where nearly everyone needs a handful of roommates to afford an apartment, maybe some lovers find more privacy in public.
3. Use drugs
If you’re not smelling pot right now, you might not be in San Francisco. Weed fumes waft in from just about every corner of the city, and everyone is pretty much fine with that. While you’ll rarely see a downtown office worker taking a cigarette break anymore, it’s not uncommon to spot a business-attired smoker hitting a joint in the FiDi. Related: If you haven’t seen someone shooting heroin in the parking lot of Walgreens, you haven’t lived here very long.
4. Voice every opinion
In San Francisco, if you have an opinion about someone or something, no matter how major or minor the issue, you do not keep it to yourself. Instead, you organize like-minded people via Twitter hashtag, make signs proclaiming your opinion, then confront said someone or something with signs and screaming. We have achieved incredible breakthroughs thanks to our pioneering protests. We have also had a problem with Happy Meal toys. Yeah, those toys that come in Happy Meals? THOSE ARE NOT OKAY.
5. Treat animals better than people
No life is more precious than that of a beloved San Francisco pet. In a town notorious for its decades-long homeless problem, our pets live lives we can only aspire to. Restaurants and retail stores offer bowls of fresh water and healthy snacks to visiting pups; precious pooches are pushed in strollers through the jam-packed Saturday Farmer’s Market. On any given night at any given cocktail party, a story about your child will be met with a polite eye roll. A story about your pet, however, will be celebrated as if told by Voltaire himself.