Tucked away on a quiet street, it would be easy to miss the door to The Battery. The low-key entrance is no doubt enigmatic by design, given that the building is both a four star, 14-suite boutique hotel and a stylish private member’s club. A former marble factory revamped by renowned-interior designer Ken Fulk, The Battery has a phantasmagoric feel, decorated with patterned wallpapers and surrealist furniture (think leopard print chairs and pink pianos). Guests at the hotel become temporary members, giving them access to the hotel’s exciting programming and its many onsite eateries and bars. I particularly enjoyed The Battery’s courtyard, kitted out with brightly-coloured sofas, fairy lights and potted flowers—the perfect spot for an early morning coffee or cocktail at dusk.
Why stay at The Battery?
The Battery is for stylish guests who appreciate exuberant interior design, quirky furnishings and upbeat vibes. The hotel has multiple onsite restaurants, bars and cafes (each with their own distinct interior design) and an extensive program of workshops, shows and parties. Hotel artwork so often feels like a drab afterthought, but being at The Battery feels like wandering around a gallery after taking a couple of tabs of acid. You can spend a good hour exploring its psychedelic emporium, from the giant photobooth filled with silly hats to the bathroom cubicles labelled with each of the seven deadly sins to the pineapple-shaped lamps. It’s sexy, stimulating and rejuvenating, with plenty of top-notch, luxury comforts for you to relax at the same time.
What are the rooms like at The Battery?
Rooms at The Battery are arty and immaculate—tastefully allotted with hardwood floors, trendy furniture and original artworks. Guests can choose between six types of rooms and suites, varying in size from 400 sq. feet up to 625 sq. feet (including one disability accessible room). I stayed in the mid-sized Battery Suite, which was extremely chic, with floor-to-ceiling windows, a king sized bed with a tan leather headboard and matching coloured sofa and backless armchairs. The room also had a comfortable working desk, a circular glass lounge table and a wooden drinks cabinet, as well as a bathroom of dreams (a walk-in shower, a ginormous Japanese tub and a collection of nude sketches). The Battery Suite is east-facing and technically overlooks Jackson Square, but when I stayed there (in September), all I could see were trees outside. While the foliage gave the room a cool, earthy vibe, I could have done with a bit more natural light.
What can you eat at The Battery?
Dining at The Battery feels like being in the thick of the party. There are plenty of dining areas to choose from, such as the Woolsery, a grand, wooden-pannelled dining room with a Murano glass bar (for a à la carte dining), and an assortment of dimly-lit bars (for naughty late night bites and drinks). The cocktail menus are playful and creative—think ‘coffee and cigarettes (cariofo, nola coffee and spices) and ‘milkmaid’s dress’ (watermelon mezcal, cappelletti, strawberry soda) and ‘Pretzel bobby burns’ (scotch, pecan bitters, pretzels), with small plates spanning shrimp cocktails, tostadas and hog island oysters.
Breakfast isn’t included in the room price at The Battery, but if you do choose to eat at the hotel there are plenty of delicious options, from Belgian waffles with maple syrup and chantilly to the healthier Mediterranean quinoa bowl or coconut Chia Pudding with ginger and berries. You can also enjoy coffee, cocktails and an all day menu in the garden (the house Caesar salad with romaine, chicories, ciabatta croutons and don bocarte anchovies with a diet coke was a perfect lunch).
What is the service like at The Battery?
The service at The Battery has the distinctly friendly yet aloof air of a private members club. Rather than catering to guests’ every need, the property has some strict rules. For instance, you can’t make phone calls in communal areas (but you can go inside an allocated telephone booth) and you can’t take photos (I got told off for trying to take a photo of a sculpture in the bathroom). But the servers were relaxed and warm, and the freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies hand-delivered to my room in the afternoons was certainly a treat.
What are the facilities like at The Battery?
The Battery’s cultural programming is impressive, with a stacked calendar of eclectic happenings including DJ sets, comedy shows, film screenings, yoga sessions and more. Events take place in different locations in the building, from the turquoise-painted, Chinatown inspired Parlor with glass chandeliers to the rooftop with sweeping, sparkling views of the city. You can also pick up a magazine or play pool in the Living Room, or hang out in one of the booths in the multi-coloured Penrose bar.
There’s no on-site gym but hotel guests can pick up a free pass to The Pine Street Equinox, which is about a 10 minute walk away and encompasses a steam room, spa and 75 foot pool.
What’s the area like around The Battery?
The Battery is located in the Barbary Coast district, a historic red light district renowned for its brothels, drug dens and dance halls. Today, the neighborhood has a laid back atmosphere, with plenty of stylish restaurants, wine bars and bakeries nearby (check out Cotogna for Italian and Verjus for orange wine). San Francisco is a very walkable city, and each district has a totally different aesthetic character and cultural history. The hotel is a short walk away from the Financial District, Chinatown, North Beach (San Francisco’s ‘Little Italy’) and the Embarcadero (a waterside boulevard filled with multi-cuisine eateries), so you can easily dip into neighboring areas and sample totally different vibes.
Why should you book a stay at The Battery?
The Battery is a hotel for people who love the night to keep on going. A luxurious, lively, art-minded institution, The Battery is packed with opportunities for surprise and fun. If your idea of being on holiday consists of lounging about in your tracksuit, it’s probably not the hotel for you. But if you’re the type of traveler who hates being bored, who loves a buzzy party (or being transported into a fantasy world), this is worthy hotel.
DETAILS
Address: 717 Battery St, San Francisco, CA 94111
Price per night: Rooms start at $695
Closest transport: The hotel is a 15 minute walk to the Embarcadero BART train station, where you can get one train to the airport in less than 30 minutes.
Book now: via the website