Making friends as an adult is hard, but like everything else, most things these days can be helped by the internet. Kristine Ramirez, a personal concierge from Miami who’s spent the last year traveling the country in a camper van, seems to have cracked the code with Tinder.
After what she describes as “feeling stuck in the same loop back home,” Kristine sold her condo, donated most of her belongings and hit the road alongside her adorable senior dog, Max. The next step in her U.S. adventure was signing up for Tinder to meet people along the way.
“The experience has opened my eyes to so many incredibly different ways of life. I, never in a million years, would have been exposed to such hyper-local adventures had it not been for the app,” says Kristine, who cautions that not all Tinder meet-ups have been pleasant. “I’d be lying if I told you the entire journey was rainbow and butterflies, or that every new friend was an absolute gem.”
Kristine is still on the road, still making friends and chronicling it all on her Instagram, @KristineDidIt. Her adventures crisscrossing the U.S. have made her a bit of an expert on the subject of spontaneous platonic relationships, and she’s sharing her tips with us here.
—As told to Virginia Gil
1. Always say yes!
If there is one major takeaway from my Tinder escapades, it is to always say yes to new adventures. Often times we overthink things and the fear of the unknown leaves us paralyzed. Saying ‘yes’ to adventure has led me to anywhere from meeting an eighth-generation cowboy who owned all of the lands that surrounded me in South Dakota to going on a long walk with a father and his three amazing sons while they showed me their perfect town in Montana. (Pictured below, we found a junked couch and turned it into a dope family portrait vibe.)
2. Start every new friendship with an open mind and an open heart. You never know the impact you could be leaving on someone’s life based on one meeting.
I have quickly learned to adapt and adjust to the preferences of the new friends that I meet along the way. Since I am dropping in on their life, in their town, usually at the last minute and most unexpectedly, I try my best to start every new Tindventure with a clean slate and no judgment. I have had meals with people that have crippling anxiety but forced themselves out for the first time ever to experience something new—which is such an honor to me. These interactions are always a pure joy as the person eventually opens up and we end up sharing great conversations at some of the best local restaurants in unexpected destinations. Being an extroverted introvert myself, I can understand how difficult it can be to break out of your comfort zone and meet a stranger for dinner the same day you match. This is why I push myself to make new friends in order to avoid becoming a curmudgeon that lives alone for the rest of my days. But, like, for real though.
3. Don’t swipe on people based on looks—swipe based on vibes and similar interests. These are friends, not lovers!
I was guilty of swiping based on attraction and physical preferences at first. Let me tell you that because of this, hm, “user error”, most of my nationwide friends look like they can be brothers. Awkward! Clearly, I have a type. A few states in, I started to swipe on people that I could tell would be respectful and also those that I felt would be down for a last-minute adventure in their hometown since I would be moving on pretty quickly. Making this switch yielded the most genuine and platonic experiences that a girl could ever wish for during her long and lonely days on the road.
4. If the person looks like a red flag, trust your gut: Swipe left!
Take it from someone who swiped right on the biggest and reddest of all the flags. Before this person, I always believed that everyone was inherently good. Wrong. Some humans are just full of bad juju, naturally. If It doesn’t feel right, if the person is crossing any boundaries, or if something within you is saying it’s a bad idea then it most probably is. Lean into your intuition. Abort mission if you have to. There are plenty of other spectacular people waiting to hang out with you!
5. As an out-of-towner, you might need to come up with plans occasionally. Don’t be intimidated.
I’m going to share my secret sauce as a concierge to master any place that you’re visiting like you’ve lived there your whole life. Yelp and Google maps are my best friends in new, uncharted territories. I also tend to Google things like, “hidden gems/off the beaten path in _____ (insert city)” or use Atlas Obscura. Oftentimes, the people you meet don’t know the coolest things to do, especially in small towns. I don’t know about you, but if I only have one day to hang, I want to do the most! I also love to ask locals what they would do in said place if they only had one day there.
6. Mutual attraction can happen. (It is Tinder, after all.) But fight the urge.
In my experience, meeting people and growing romantic feelings for them while actively traveling has never ended well. Unless the person is able to magically join your adventure, the situation quickly becomes unrealistic and oftentimes just ends up causing hurt. You win some, you lose some when it comes to matters of the heart. This is no different when you’re on the road. Guard your heart.
7. Meet in public places.
Be very careful, and, please, always meet with your Tindy people in very public places. If possible, share your location with a friend or family member just to ensure they can find you at a moment’s notice if needed (Hopefully, it won’t ever be needed). Be alert, stay vigilant and make wise choices. I used to go into every experience blissfully unaware that bad situations could happen, but I am making better efforts to keep myself safe now. The world can be a dangerous place if you’re not aware of what’s around you at all times.
8. Think globally.
I will never stop using Tinder! (Bold statement—check in with me in a few years, lol) I am mostly happy with the outcome of my swipe for pals Tinxtravaganza, so why stop there? Tinder is a worldwide social platform, so why not meet Jean Claude for a toasty baguette sammy as the Eiffel Tower lights up at night, or Shaun while photographing foliage in the Northeast this upcoming Fall season.
9. Make your intentions known.
My profile clearly states that I am here for new friends and that I am absolutely not down to be anyone’s one-night stand. I am a major fan of the connections this app has yielded. I would never trade some of the lasting friendships for anything in the world. How else would I have met the street sweeper in Minneapolis who ate pizza with me? Or the Marine in New York who went grocery shopping with me the day we met had it not been for Tinder? What a time to be alive.
10. Connect on social media.
Add your social media handles to your dating app profiles. People will reach out to you this way as well and you will gain new followers!
Good luck and cheers to new fruitful connections, and to fulfilling our need to be social creatures! See you around on Tinder.