Slutever’s sex and dating tips

Blogger Karley Sciortino proffers dating advice for New Yorkers.

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Slutever (Karley Sciortino): A sex and dating blogger and patriot

Slutever (Karley Sciortino): A sex and dating blogger and patriot Photograph: Pohaku Hau'oli Ewing


Since 2007, Karley Sciortino has dished on sex and dating via Slutever (slutever.com), her blog encompassing tales of her dominatrix antics and juicy conversations with other fetishists, and is now the star of her own web series on Vice (vice.com/slutever) and pens relationship columns for zines such as I Don’t Like Mondays (idontlikemondays.us). Here, she tells TONY ten things New Yorkers should—or should not—do when it comes to dating in the city.

1. Don’t meet people at bars
“If you’re looking for a random fuck, going to a bar is a good idea. Bars are basically human meat markets. But if you want to meet someone you could potentially date long-term, well, news flash: Smart, successful people don’t hang out at bars. They’re too busy doing important-people stuff. Meet people through friends, at dinner parties, at gallery openings or at one of those random NYC events that always happen where someone you vaguely know is deejaying. Or just meet someone online. It’s 2012.”

2. Just ask.
“Don’t stress out about the best way to ask someone out on a date. If they like you, they’ll say yes. And if they don’t, they’ll just make fun of you to all their friends behind your back.”

3. Eat on a first date.
“Restaurants are good for first dates because you can talk and it’s not an environment centered on getting wasted. You can tell a lot about a person by where they take you. For example, if you’re headed to Chick-fil-A, get out now. Cafe Gitane (242 Mott St at Prince St; 212-334-9552, cafegitanenyc.com) is a great date spot. It’s cute, good for people-watching and it has watermelon juice. For Brooklynites, Cafe Mogador (133 Wythe Ave, between North 7th and 8th Sts, Williamsburg, Brooklyn; 718-486-9222, cafemogador.com) has total date vibes. There’s an outdoor patio that makes you feel like you’re in a different country, and the lighting is low, so you don’t have to worry about looking gross.”

4. Control your word vomit.
“Feelings are cool, but having too many too soon is creepy. No one should be using the l-word until at least three months into a relationship. That also goes for talking about babies and suburban houses—ew, total Charlotte [on Sex and the City] vibes! Also, try and save your first ‘I love you’ for when you’re drunk or high.”

5. Facebook feelings are not the same as real feelings

“Unless you’re married (or 15 years old), there is no need to blast your ‘in a relationship’ status on Facebook. If you break up, you run the risk of multiple people ‘liking’ the fact that your ex is now single, or all your cheesy friends commenting such things as ‘you go, girl’ on your newly single status (#embarrassing). And speaking of Facebook, just because you’re in love doesn’t mean you have to start updating your status with Goo Goo Dolls lyrics—thanks.”

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9 comments
harderizbetter
harderizbetter

Why must it always lead to Marriage & Kids, Two people, both man & women should enjoy the moment and if by any chance in hell you two are see happy doing what you do best behind doors without any strings attached then enjoy your time together. When you get married everything changes and if their are children or not, things will still changes your relationship for better or worse. For the record; If you two was so crazy in love with each other when you two are single, then stay single and enjoy the fruits that you two are enjoying with each other, why get married to find out...marriage just killed that feeling we all want.

Pubes are not cool
Pubes are not cool

A girl definitely wrote this. Pubes are not cool just because you are too lazy to manicure yourself. Grosszilla

Alyssa Mompoint
Alyssa Mompoint

#1 Cracks me up! I would say for the most part its true that you can't meet someone seriously at a bar but I would say that its still possible! Just depend what mindeet you are in. If you do take home someone from a bar, might I suggest you always use well...a condom.. Chances are if they're taking you home so easily they've probably have done it with others. You may even be able to figure out if they even know what an STD is: http://blog.beforewedo.com/2013/02/are-you-one-of-these-6-types-of-std.html

bikerloving
bikerloving

date a local single for sex or marriage -- www.bikerloving.com

Mario
Mario

www.ladiesdates.com

Sunshine
Sunshine

I disagree that smart and successful people dont hang out at bars. Going to a local bar and getting to know the bartender or owner helps you to meet new people. it almost becomes your family and theres nothign wrong with it. I have met many professionals this way and I wouldnt suggest knocking this off as a potential way to meeting new people.

EmpressO
EmpressO

I disagree with not discussing marriage and children until after 3 months. If I wait until after that time to talk about it and I learn that he never wants to get married (not necessarily to me but just in general) and or have kids, then I just wasted 3 months with someone. Why is everyone so afraid to talk about these things? Why wait for a particular time? How about you meet someone, you go out, and if it comes up (which is usually would) you then say "hey, do think you ever want to get married or have kids?" They will then say yes or no, and if they say no then all you wasted as an hour or two of your time versus 3+ months.

Marie
Marie

Why is it that it's so important that NOBODY abstain from sex?! I'm trying to have less sex since I don't find it worth the risk of std's or pregnancy. I know all about birth control and that sh*t costs money and has negative side effects and is obviously NOT 100% effective! Look... if you feel ready for sex and are sure you want it I'm not stopping you. However, if I feel like I want to abstain, please don't stop me... P.S. This does NOT mean I neglect to groom myself down there! To each her own but I like to be cleaner a.k.a. more on the hairless side myself!! Tell me I'm so 2008 if you want but I like it haha!

Akhmed Malabar
Akhmed Malabar

I once dated a girl who I shall refer to L. Dillard. Some of her sexual interests and kinks were just disgusting. She frequently tried to insert burritos into herself using her fingers; they would usually fall apart and end up smeared all over her labia. Those were horrific times, though I often wonder what she's doing with her life now. Her goal was to get into the refuse collection business.