Slutever’s sex and dating tips
Blogger Karley Sciortino proffers dating advice for New Yorkers.
Wed Apr 25 2012
Photograph: Pohaku Hau'oli Ewing
Since 2007, Karley Sciortino has dished on sex and dating via Slutever (slutever.com), her blog encompassing tales of her dominatrix antics and juicy conversations with other fetishists, and is now the star of her own web series on Vice (vice.com/slutever) and pens relationship columns for zines such as I Don’t Like Mondays (idontlikemondays.us). Here, she tells TONY ten things New Yorkers should—or should not—do when it comes to dating in the city.
1. Don’t meet people at bars
“If you’re looking for a random fuck, going to a bar is a good idea. Bars are basically human meat markets. But if you want to meet someone you could potentially date long-term, well, news flash: Smart, successful people don’t hang out at bars. They’re too busy doing important-people stuff. Meet people through friends, at dinner parties, at gallery openings or at one of those random NYC events that always happen where someone you vaguely know is deejaying. Or just meet someone online. It’s 2012.”
2. Just ask.
“Don’t stress out about the best way to ask someone out on a date. If they like you, they’ll say yes. And if they don’t, they’ll just make fun of you to all their friends behind your back.”
3. Eat on a first date.
“Restaurants are good for first dates because you can talk and it’s not an environment centered on getting wasted. You can tell a lot about a person by where they take you. For example, if you’re headed to Chick-fil-A, get out now. Cafe Gitane (242 Mott St at Prince St; 212-334-9552, cafegitanenyc.com) is a great date spot. It’s cute, good for people-watching and it has watermelon juice. For Brooklynites, Cafe Mogador (133 Wythe Ave, between North 7th and 8th Sts, Williamsburg, Brooklyn; 718-486-9222, cafemogador.com) has total date vibes. There’s an outdoor patio that makes you feel like you’re in a different country, and the lighting is low, so you don’t have to worry about looking gross.”
4. Control your word vomit.
“Feelings are cool, but having too many too soon is creepy. No one should be using the l-word until at least three months into a relationship. That also goes for talking about babies and suburban houses—ew, total Charlotte [on Sex and the City] vibes! Also, try and save your first ‘I love you’ for when you’re drunk or high.”
5. Facebook feelings are not the same as real feelings
“Unless you’re married (or 15 years old), there is no need to blast your ‘in a relationship’ status on Facebook. If you break up, you run the risk of multiple people ‘liking’ the fact that your ex is now single, or all your cheesy friends commenting such things as ‘you go, girl’ on your newly single status (#embarrassing). And speaking of Facebook, just because you’re in love doesn’t mean you have to start updating your status with Goo Goo Dolls lyrics—thanks.”