Pick-a-fetish megachart

So you really want to stick an electric tube up your penis but just don't know where to begin. Fear not-TONY is here to help!

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Adult babies

Anal play

Bondage

Breath Control

Electric play


Feet

Female ejaculation

Hentai

Masturbation parties

Medical play


Spanking

Telerotica

A threesome

Vaginal fisting

Water sports

Adult babies


What is it?
Some grown-ups like to dress and act like babies. It’s not always sexual, but many ABs are also diaper lovers, and are turned on by wearing nappies.

How do I get started?
“There are parties and gatherings in Boston, D.C., Florida, Georgia, Tennessee and, at least once, Las Vegas, but not in New York City, for some peculiar reason,” says Daddy Bob, a member of the AB scene. If you’re interested in meeting adult babies (and getting invites to those out-of-state events), register at aby.com.

What are the risks?
“There is always the risk of coming across a nut,” says Daddy Bob. And of course there’s the real danger of someone spotting your diaper through your business pants.

Insider tip
Grown-up diapers are available at any drugstore. Adult-sized onesies, PVC shorts, rompers and all things pastel printed are at foreverakid.com and hbenterprises.co.uk, among other sites. For a list of cybershops, visit adultbaby.co.uk/babyshops.php.

Adult babies | Anal play | Bondage | Breath control | Electric play
Feet | Female ejaculation | Hentai | Masturbation parties | Medical play
Spanking | Telerotica | A threesome | Vaginal fisting | Water sports

Anal play


What is it?
All things ass-tastic: anal fingering, analingus, anal sex, anal toys, pegging, barebacking, coprophilia (ugh) and enemas.

How do I get started?
Babeland and TES routinely host anal-play workshops, but NYC’s queen of ass is indubitably Tristan Taormino (of puckerup.com). Buy some Anal Eaze numbing gel and do some stretches with a slim butt plug. For inspiration, check out Belladonna (enterbelladonna.com) or anything hosted by Nina Hartley (nina.com).

What are the risks?
Bacteria loves the bum. Contact with a dirty hole can lead to STDs, UTIs, HPV and HIV/AIDS. Rough sex can cause tearing or rectal prolapse.

Insider tip
“Look, you wanna fuck your girlfriend in the ass? Stick your tongue in there and make her scream,” says anal enthusiast and Penthouse Forum columnist Selina Fire. “Let her play with your butt, too. It ain’t holy ground.”

Adult babies | Anal play | Bondage | Breath control | Electric play
Feet | Female ejaculation | Hentai | Masturbation parties | Medical play
Spanking | Telerotica | A threesome | Vaginal fisting | Water sports

Bondage


What is it?
Bondage is being bound—it implies being under the control of another person. It can be as mild as tied hands, or as harsh as being hog-tied.

How do I get started?
“The first time I was tied up, it was with old neckties!” says Lolita Wolf, who teaches the art of restraint at bondage mecca the Eulenspiegel Society (TES). Restraints (ropes, chains, harnesses) can be found at Purple Passion in Chelsea, and you can bond with like-minded enthusiasts at DomSubFriends (domsubfriends.com).

What are the risks?
Besides causing welts and bruises, Wolf says tying too tightly can lead to nerve damage and cut off circulation.

Insider tip
“I love blindfolds,” says Wolf. “They create vulnerability and surrender—and no one will see if you’re fumbling with the ropes!”

Adult babies | Anal play | Bondage | Breath control | Electric play
Feet | Female ejaculation | Hentai | Masturbation parties | Medical play
Spanking | Telerotica | A threesome | Vaginal fisting | Water sports

Breath Control


strong>What is it?
Intentional reduction of oxygen during sex, achieved through smothering, rebreathing or queening (suffocation by face-sitting)

How do I get started?
Rent Nagisa Oshima’s 1976 film, In the Realm of the Senses. If you’re still turned on, watch the Paddles (paddlesnyc.com) schedule for breath-play instruction sessions. Gas masks cost about $30 at a military surplus store; total-sensory-deprivation hoods cost $300 and up. Hands are free—and the safest.

What are the risks?
Loss of consciousness, brain damage or death. One false move with a garbage bag and you may as well use it to dump the body.

Insider tip
“Repeat hypoxia leads to death of neurons in the brain—and we have a finite supply of them,” says Victoria Zdrok, a former Playmate and Ph.D. in clinical psychology. “Breath-restriction play must be rationed!”

Adult babies | Anal play | Bondage | Breath control | Electric play
Feet | Female ejaculation | Hentai | Masturbation parties | Medical play
Spanking | Telerotica | A threesome | Vaginal fisting | Water sports

Electric play


What is it?
Using a transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS) machine or violet wand on the skin makes for shocking sensations.

How do I get started?
TES spark specialist Boymeat suggests you read Juiced by Uncle Abdul, then take a class (at tes.org). At the very least, talk with the electric-smart salesclerks at Purple Passion. Violet wands are great for starters; use them anywhere except the eyes. TENS is strictly for parts below the belly button (it can interfere with the heart’s circuitry).

What are the risks?
Um, death, heart attacks, seizures…and using wands in the same place too long can cause severe burns. Be careful!

Insider tip
Don’t scour eBay for used electricity sets. “God only knows if the circuits are still in order!” Boymeat warns. Oh, and you can buy expensive gel conductors, but saltwater works just as well.

Adult babies | Anal play | Bondage | Breath control | Electric play
Feet | Female ejaculation | Hentai | Masturbation parties | Medical play
Spanking | Telerotica | A threesome | Vaginal fisting | Water sports

Feet


What is it?
“It’s the largest fetish in the known universe,” says TES’s Boymeat. Given that so many nerves end in your feet, that’s no surprise.

How do I get started?
Foot parties abound in New York. Try one that includes trampling, hosted by paddlesnyc.com on Oct 13, or an all-male footfriends.com party on Mon 8. If you’re looking for dominant women, register at foot-worship-party.com. Too shy to get barefoot? Videos of naked tootsies are on offer at underft.com.

What are the risks?
“I’ve never heard of anyone getting sick from sucking on toes,” says Foot Friends owner Alan Pratt. “Nor have there been any cracked ribs from trampling, though it could happen.”

Insider tip
Per Boymeat: “Meeting someone at a foot-worshipping palace is the same as meeting them at a bar. If you walk up to a girl and say, ‘Nice tits,’ you’ll get slapped. Show basic etiquette—say hello, say your name.”

Adult babies | Anal play | Bondage | Breath control | Electric play
Feet | Female ejaculation | Hentai | Masturbation parties | Medical play
Spanking | Telerotica | A threesome | Vaginal fisting | Water sports

Female ejaculation


What is it?
The release of fluid—not urine—from the urethral sponge. “Every women has the plumbing to do it,” says sex educator Felice Shays.

How do I get started?
“Go for a pee, then get turned on before you even start looking for your G-spot,” says Shays. Insert two fingers into the vagina and feel around for the bumpy, spongy area above the urethra, then make a firm beckoning motion toward the belly button. Bear down when you feel like you’re going to pee. Babeland has workshops (the next is Oct 14), and Shays offers personal instruction (write to feliceteaches@aol.com).

What are the risks?
Wet spots! Put down a towel to save your mattress. And get a manicure—a hangnail will make a G-spot cower in fear.

Insider tip
“Use plenty of lube and drink lots of water. The more hydrated you are, the better your chances for ejaculating,” says Shays. “And don’t get hung up on it. It’s not the Holy Grail; it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t happen.”

Adult babies | Anal play | Bondage | Breath control | Electric play
Feet | Female ejaculation | Hentai | Masturbation parties | Medical play
Spanking | Telerotica | A threesome | Vaginal fisting | Water sports

Hentai


What is it?
Hentai includes all illustrated forms of pornography, including anime and manga, and often tackles rape, incest and other taboos.

How do I get started?
Try Kim’s Underground Video in the East Village for hentai DVDs; Japanese bookstore Kinokuniya in Midtown for yaoi (male-male) and soft-core manga; and NYC Media Blaster’s rareflix.com for online purchasing. The MangaNEXT convention will take place Fri 5 through Sun 7 in Secaucus, NJ. Visit manganext.org for details.

What are the risks?
Mental scarring. Series like Urotsukidoji, which features tentacle sex with octopus-like creatures, can shock even hard-core porn hounds.

Insider tip
“Pop into any video store in Chinatown and you’ll find a plethora of hentai,” says Peter Tatara, programming manager for the New York Anime Festival. “Most of it is bootlegged, but there’s a cartoon kink for any perversion.”

Adult babies | Anal play | Bondage | Breath control | Electric play
Feet | Female ejaculation | Hentai | Masturbation parties | Medical play
Spanking | Telerotica | A threesome | Vaginal fisting | Water sports

Masturbation parties


What is it?
Get yourself—or others—off at “no lips below the hips” get-togethers.

How do I get started?
New York Jacks (nyjacks.com) holds weekly all-male circle jerks, while women and men alike are invited to ’bate while they watch two people fuck at the weekly Bukkake Social Club (bukkakesocialclub.blogspot.com). Or, hone your solo skills: A five-hour private session with famed masturbation master Betty Dodson (bettydodson.com) is $1,200.

What are the risks?
Wash your hands before and after and you’ll be just fine.

Insider tip
“If you want to turn someone [offering to get you off] down, say, ‘No thanks, but thank you for asking,’ ” advises Lynda Gayle, who’s been holding internationally attended masturbation parties in Florida for 19 years (via clubrelate.com). “Acknowledging the compliment makes saying no easier.”

Adult babies | Anal play | Bondage | Breath control | Electric play
Feet | Female ejaculation | Hentai | Masturbation parties | Medical play
Spanking | Telerotica | A threesome | Vaginal fisting | Water sports

Medical play


What is it?
BDSM role-play that involves dressing like a doctor, nurse or patient, and administering exams, enemas, catheters and at worst, amputation.

How do I get started?
Don a sexy nurse’s uniform and take your partner’s temperature. Buy medical gear from kinkymedical.com, medicaltoys.com or industry supplier cottonballs.com. Avoid needles, knives, suturing, anesthesia, urethral probes and speculums unless you’ve been through med school. (Really.) Session one-on-one with a master to learn the basics.

What are the risks?
Blood play carries unfathomable risks, including death. Sounds (metal probes) can make their way to the bladder, requiring a trip to the real ER.

Insider tip
“When injecting, use saline,” cautions Master R, an instructor at La Domaine Esemar, the world’s oldest S&M training château (located near Albany). “Sterile water burns like hell. And never use anything corrosive.”

Adult babies | Anal play | Bondage | Breath control | Electric play
Feet | Female ejaculation | Hentai | Masturbation parties | Medical play
Spanking | Telerotica | A threesome | Vaginal fisting | Water sports

Spanking


What is it?
Hitting, or being hit, on the butt, usually with an open hand. Using a paddle or cupped hand can create a juicy sting or a loud thwack.

How do I get started?
First, ask if it’s okay to spank, or be spanked by, your partner. Then keep talking: “How does that feel?”—“I want it harder!” Start with bare hands and light strokes; step it up with leather gloves, belts and paddles. The Spanking Club of New York (scony.com) focuses on over-the-knee action, and TES (tes.org) has a spanking group.

What are the risks?
Bruising, and the possibility of emotional issues that stem from childhood abuse. Be sure you have consent!

Insider tip
“It’s pleasurable even if it looks painful,” says Lolita Wolf, author of Spanking. “It’s great foreplay.” When the mood strikes, “items like a wooden spoon or hairbrush can be converted—or perverted—for use.”

Adult babies | Anal play | Bondage | Breath control | Electric play
Feet | Female ejaculation | Hentai | Masturbation parties | Medical play
Spanking | Telerotica | A threesome | Vaginal fisting | Water sports

Telerotica


What is it?
Dirty, whispery and sometimes orgasmic nothings exchanged via the telephone, often for commercial gain.

How do I get started?
Miranda Austin’s Phone Sex: Aural Thrills and Oral Skills and SIR Productions’ Talk to Me Baby DVD are both fine resources, but to really hone your kittenish croak, you must dial the professionals. Avoid lines that advertise on Jerry, Ricki or Judge Judy, and seek one that is congruous with your kinks (BBWs, Asian, fursuits, etc.).

What are the risks?
Debt, should you take out a second mortgage to offset the mounting phone bills. Divorce, should your wife or husband find out.

Insider tip
“Turn off your call-waiting and put on something that makes you feel sexy,” advises local erotic writer Rachel Kramer Bussel. “Tell the other person exactly what you want to do to them. Let them into your erotic mind.”

Adult babies | Anal play | Bondage | Breath control | Electric play
Feet | Female ejaculation | Hentai | Masturbation parties | Medical play
Spanking | Telerotica | A threesome | Vaginal fisting | Water sports

A threesome


What is it?
Whether it’s a spontaneous trio or a couple-plus-one, three’s a crowd that everyone seems to fantasize about.

How do I get started?
Blogger and polyamory expert Tom Paine (perverselypoly.blogspot.com) recommends sites like swinglifestyle.com, swappernet.com and chemistry-nyc.com (the latter is holding a “sensual party” in Brooklyn on Oct 12). Swingers parties, where you’re likely to meet a third (and/or second and third), cost between $60 and $200 per couple for an evening. Or, recruit your best friend’s sister for free.

What are the risks?
“It’s emotional dynamite,” says Paine. “I know numerous people who thought they could handle it and couldn’t, and others who were nervous but turned out fine.”

Insider tip
Learn your terms: An MMF (male/male/female) trio indicates that the guys are interested in hooking up, while in an MFM situation, the males don’t have any sexual interaction. Says Paine: “The person in the middle of the acronym serves as the hinge.”

Adult babies | Anal play | Bondage | Breath control | Electric play
Feet | Female ejaculation | Hentai | Masturbation parties | Medical play
Spanking | Telerotica | A threesome | Vaginal fisting | Water sports

Vaginal fisting


What is it?
The cautious insertion of the entire hand, including knuckles and wrist, into the vagina. Anal fisting is also popular.

How do I get started?
Read Deborah Addington’s A Hand in the Bush, rent some hot dyke porn from Blowfish (blowfishvideo.com), and buy latex gloves and a water-based lubricant in a pump bottle. To bond with fellow fisters and fistees, check out the monthly Submit party (A Hand in the Bush, rent some hot dyke porn from Blowfish (submitparty.com) for women and transfolk, or join the Lesbian Sex Mafia (lesbiansexmafia.org).

What are the risks?
Torn or punctured muscles, a bruised cervix and even sterility. If you go anal, rectal or colonic infection is worrisome.

Insider tip
“Go slow, slow, slow and use lots of lube,” says Sinclair Sexsmith, a Bed-Stuy-based sex blogger and femme fister with seven years’ experience. “It’s gonna be messy. Just put a towel down and get over it.”

Adult babies | Anal play | Bondage | Breath control | Electric play
Feet | Female ejaculation | Hentai | Masturbation parties | Medical play
Spanking | Telerotica | A threesome | Vaginal fisting | Water sports

Water sports


What is it?
Golden-shower aficionados may be oft mocked, but they abound. They enjoy getting peed on and/or peeing on a partner. What up, R. Kelly?

How do I get started?
Buy pisser vids at midtown’s Kinematics and invest in waterproof bedding; NYC’s mindfetish.com sells latex duvets and full sheet sets starting around $2,000. Stick to an organic diet and drink plenty of fluids (beer, pineapple juice and green tea are especially recommended). Avoid asparagus.

What are the risks?
Pee is cleaner than spit, but not entirely sterile. Though rare, urine can carry STDs; don’t pee onto broken skin or into a mouth full of sores.

Insider tip
“U.S. porn tends to be a male top humiliating a slutty little girl,” says TES’s Boymeat. “The Germans get it right. The piss is flowing and they’re just pigging out, having a good time.”

Adult babies | Anal play | Bondage | Breath control | Electric play
Feet | Female ejaculation | Hentai | Masturbation parties | Medical play
Spanking | Telerotica | A threesome | Vaginal fisting | Water sports

Users say

2 comments
alex
alex

If people are curious about discovering a fetish, I think a good place to start are the NYC Fetish Tribe parties, like Suspension at the delancey lounge. I've been going for 2 years and everyone's been very friendly.