That one day in February that isn’t special!
It is that time of the year when that annoying douche bag jeweler is all over the radio waves like flies on donkey shit, and all the grocery aisles are full of cheap-ass, make you ass fat-ass, “people of Walmart”-grade chocolate!....yeah like love isn't complicated enough on its own Mr Shane,..... F**K you!
Don’t fall for this crap though, and defy the evil conspiracy of the Hallmark/flower/greedy jeweler cartel, by coming to my birthday event. My "anti- Valentine Bash”…….where I actually bash that creepy-ass winged piece of shit from here to his stinky love diapers, dance like a bull in a China room, and behave like a sailor in a wine bar!
There will be approved (non-country) music, and dancing, and yes you can bring your playlist even if its the heavy-metal version of Sesame street! Tapa-Tapa has a nice selection of drinks and apps so knock yourself out, just please take care of your hard-working servers!
If you’re a friend and decide not show up I will ridicule you in public and send you a Donald Trump bobble head in the mail!…….nah just kidding…..(I’ll send you the Sarah Palin one it’s on sale!)
Bring your friends and your playlists
I don’t want any gifts, I don't deserve them…..I’m an asshole!!!
Just want a reason to celebrate my 30th birthday with you!!!
Love conquers all, just don't let those commercial ding-dongs tell you how you should feel, and come to my damn party!
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