‘I want to look like him/her'
That person is currently on their ninth ultra-marathon, used to be a Russian trapeze artist and their bed is under the chest press. Don’t try to look like someone else.
‘I trained for three hours on Sunday and only ate broccoli all weekend, are you proud of me?’
No. We are not proud of you. After an hour of training you won’t be able to lift as heavy or run as fast unless you eat properly so chill out and munch on a sweet potato or else come Thursday evening you’ll be sitting on the kitchen floor eating cereal out the packet with your hands.
‘I’ve brought my boyfriend/mum/child to watch is that okay?’
Folks, leave the fam at home. They’ll either distract you, embarrass you or nearly kill themselves trying to do tricep dips on a cross trainer.
‘Can I have your number?’
No. Don’t proposition your trainer - even if you think they are admiring your Lycra-clad glutes, they’re probably just checking your squat technique.
‘I want a six-pack in three weeks before I go on my holidays.’
If I could make that happen I would be riding around in a unicorn driven chariot chucking money onto the streets on my way to my jewel-encrusted jet to fly to my private island.
‘I don’t want to sweat today; I’m going for drinks after this.’