1. All eyes will be on London
The lack of Olympics leaves a wibbling little gap in our hearts, but this gig, broadcast across the world, will shove our fine city back into the spotlight. It’s not quite the same as seeing Jess Ennis throw something really well, but if you’re fond of the braggadocious ‘I was there’ factor, then this is the show for you.
2. Madonna might do something provocative
Singing muscle Madonna will be presenting alongside other celebrities including actor Salma Hayek, author Gloria Steinem and the Archbishop Desmond Tutu. Who you gonna tonsil tackle this time, Madge? Our money’s on the Bish.
3. The world’s greatest hair on one stage
Florence Welch’s Gallic hair. Haim’s rock hair. Iggy Azalea’s My Little Pony hair. J-Lo’s angel-sent-down-from-heaven hair. The only renowned pop hairdo missing on this stage is Emeli Sandé’s bread hair. In the event of a medley, there’s even a 10 percent chance it might all get entwined and produce the most beautiful ball of matted fur known to man.
4. Judge Beyoncé’s baby bump for yourself
As well as cancelling a gig, Beyoncé SHOCKINGLY wore a slightly loose-fitting top recently, sending gossip sites frothy mouthed at the prospect of another BeyBey. Watch on, speculate and tweet like crazy as you assess her twerk for baby bounce.
5. Imagine the rider!
Crystal-encrusted toilet seats, an assortment of prize-winning micro pigs… The diva demands backstage are likely to be insane, especially since Gucci is footing the bill.