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Hop in an Uber, grab a fistful of napkins and get ready to devour the best drunk food in Miami
So you’ve had a few stiff ones and then it happens: Your stomach starts to growl, and now it’s time for the best drunk food in Miami. It’s a nightly ritual repeated across the globe every single night. There’s a certain time of the night when all motivation turns towards finding something delicious (and possibly greasy) to stuff in your mouth and you no longer care about dancing at the best South Beach clubs or lounging at the best cocktail bars in Miami. No, you want a burger and you want it now. Or maybe pizza? Mmmm. Pizza. Wait! Grilled cheese?! Oh, man. It’s a tough choice but the good news is: you’ve got options. Here are some of our favorites.
What is it? There’s a lot of yelling, no sign of any sort of formal line and credit cards being waved all around you. But, at the end of all the chaos, you’ll be handed a glorious sandwich by a sassy French man. The bread is thick, the toppings are generous and the house vinaigrette is good enough to bathe in.
Why go? The South Beach location (a cute sidewalk cafe) just happens to be directly across from the famous dive bar Mac’s Club Deuce and stays open till 5am.
What is it? A bar with an Asian food hall attached to it. All bars should come with food halls, huh? At least you’ll feel that way after you can go from the outdoor bar to your pick of dumplings, pho, bánh mì sandwiches and more without having to Uber anywhere.
Why go? Got a drunk sweet tooth? Taiyaki’s fish cones are going to put you in the best kind of sugar coma.
What is it? A little bar and burger joint attached to the Wynwood drinking mainstay Wood Tavern. Their options for your drunk munchies include fries, wings and milkshakes—but we always go with the burger. It’s served on a squishy potato bun and fits oh-so-perfectly in the palm of your hand.
Why go? Drunk doesn’t mean sloppy here. The delicious patties are made from wagyu, covered with American cheese and cooked fresh to order.
What is it? Gramps’ adorable little back patio slice shack. Get a slice (or a whole pie), some garlic bread, wings and more–all without having to leave the bar.
Why go? Like New York style pizza? This slice is the closest you‘ll get to an NYC pie in Miami. Honestly, it might be better.
What is it? One of those experiences every Miamian should have at least once. Located across the street from Story Nightclub, this retro diner can get pretty lit on a late weekend night when the club kids start to roll in. But surely you’ll be able to find something for your palate on the over 200-item menu.
Why go? Can’t make it to the restaurant? The delivery orders come via adorable pink VW Beetles.
What is it? The home of the hotdog that scares small children and cardiologists. This Colombian joint serves some saucy creations well into the night on weekends. Everything on the menu is—and this is just a guess—no less than three billion calories, give or take. And doesn’t that sound great after a few drinks?
Why go? To see if you can go toe-to-toe with the SuperMoon Perro: smoked sausage, bacon and a quail egg on a long (like, very long) bun drenched in multiple types of thick sauce.
What is it? Part rowdy bar/part taco stand, Bodega is one of the best combos on South Beach. Whether you party here or elsewhere, an order of al pastor tacos is a proper way to end any night out in Miami Beach.
Why go? The classic tacos here are smashing but be sure to branch out with the daily specials, which can get crazy delicious.
What is it? At first glance, a laundromat. At second glance, a laundromat that serves food! This only-in-Miami concept is a local’s favorite thanks to its menu of Cuban staples that taste good any time of day.
Why go? A batido (essentially a Cuban milkshake) and an order of croquetas is the bedtime snack you deserve after one too many tequila shots.
What is it? Grilled cheese. Need we say more? Fine—we’ll say more. It’s really good grilled cheese, elevated with creative ingredients like prosciutto, buffalo chicken, lobster and more delightful surprises.
Why go? Get a side of mac and cheese, then dip your sandwich in the mac and cheese! Dude! Dude? Dude...
What is it? If you live in North Miami, Steve’s is a necessary pit stop on your Uber home. Like many pies in Miami, Steve’s dough is thick and the sauce is sweet. But Steve’s nails that trickiest of things: the crust. It’s soft but still crispy and makes the ride home so much more enjoyable.
Why go? They sell by the slice, so you don’t have to wake up the next morning with a greasy pizza box mocking you from the kitchen counter.
What is it? Miami’s most famous Cuban restaurant and, lucky for us, it’s open until 1am on Saturday and Sunday. A late night Cuban sandwich is never a bad idea and the portions here are worthy of even the drunkest of appetites.
Why go? Outsmart your hangover by taking an order of pastelitos home with you for the next morning. Take that, headache!
What is it? There when you need it most. Is Casola’s the best pizza in Miami? Nah. But it doesn’t have to be (especially after a couple drinks). It’s a solid slice and these heroes will deliver to your drunk butt when many others in Miami are fast asleep.
Why go? It’s 4am and you…need…pizza.
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