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There are many confusing aspects of navigating New York. Walking through a revolving door, however, should not be one of them. Yet it seems like every day, people who have never encountered such a contraption in their lives pour into this city. Generally, these visitors take the form of a tourist couple, overloaded with luggage, jamming into the same revolving door, surrounded by various bags pushed up against the glass.
RECOMMENDED: See more New York rants
If youâre unlucky enough to enter the opening directly behind one of these shuffling offenders, be prepared to move forward at a pace similar to a stalled 6 train during rush hour. And god forbid you lightly push on the glass divider in an attempt to make up for lost time. You may shove too hard, feel a kick, and then the vacuum-packed dynamic duo in front of you looks back like you just stabbed them in the back. Then, all of a sudden, the dividers grind to a halt, and youâre trapped in a surprise aquarium of bad decisions, wasted efforts and mutual disgust.
Please, everyone: Revolving doors are built for one person and, possibly, a rolling bag. This is not a new concept. Maybe it would help if we established some sort of training area at JFK and LaGuardia. Everyone is always welcome in NYC, just please, weâre begging you, figure out how to walk through the door first.
âWeâre comfortable,â says Nick Young (Henry Golding, mega-confident in his movie debut). A handsome Oxford-educated college professor, heâs been asked about his background by his girlfriend, Rachel (Constance Wu), in this endlessly entertaining romcom. Heâs nonchalant but he can afford to be. When he flies Rachel to Singapore to meet the family, it turns out they pretty much own the place. Cue unfeasible extravagance that somehow manages to feel inclusive: âCrazy Rich Asiansâ is a VIP pass to the coolest parties in town.
Beneath its glitz and glamour, the film has a familiar set-up: the story of two lovers from different walks of life who are willing to challenge tradition for their own happiness. But this always-engaging tale â the two leads bring real sincerity at the heart of the movie â is infused with a modern sense of money and personal reinvention. The gaudy flow of wealth is one of its many comic facets, never endorsed so much as offered up as passing eye candy.
It has an edgier side too. For Rachel, the trip to Nickâs old turf for his best friendâs wedding becomes a psychological nightmare. A hen party brings out the pettiness in an ex. Even worse is a moment of confrontation between our heroine and the Young clanâs matriarch, Eleanor (Michelle Yeoh, formidable), who bluntly tells her she just isnât good enough for her son.
This is the first Hollywood movie with an all-Asian cast since âThe Joy Luck Clubâ 25 years ago, and that feels significant. Based on Kevin Kwanâ
âItâs morphinâ time!â fans will yell, as waves of light explode, color-coded armor creeps onto bodies, and tears of recognition are wiped away. Rarely has a franchise dominated childhoods as thoroughly as the â90s-era live-action 'Mighty Morphin Power Rangers', devoured on TV and cemented with action figures and toys. Todayâs grown-up kids arenât ready for the reboot, but they should be: The movie knows to make playground fun out of the material.
Set against the suburban backdrop of Californiaâs fictional Angel Grove, the story (for those not in the know) follows a rag-tag team of teens chosen to defend Earth from evil Rita Repulsa. What this 'Power Rangers' doesâunlike the showâis explore the complexities of our core team: Theyâre imperfect but perfect enough to be selfless and save the world. Despite spending the majority of its running time with lead heroes Kimberly (Naomi Scott) and Jason (Dacre Montgomery), the main player of the group is autistic Billy (Me and Earl and the Dying Girlâs RJ Cyler), whose enthusiasm and charm are contagious.
Kudos to the movieâs subversive streak for using a great talent like Bryan Cranston to basically play a gigantic head (Power Ranger mentor Zordon). Bill Hader does justice by robot Alpha 5âs iconic squeals while Elizabeth Banks delivers an exaggerated yet powerful villain that should have hit the airwaves 25 years ago: she makes it look like a blast, while devouring gold (donât askâitâs part of her plan). Here, Rita takes a little time
Dear New Yorkers old and new: We have something important to talk about, and itâs a city epidemic known as sidewalk hogging. All of you folks should make an appointment with your primary-care physician as soon as possible to see if youâve caught this highly contagious bug.
RECOMMENDED: See more New York rants
There is no greater horror than the moment I see a family of seven, stretched across the sidewalk, walking (more like shuffling) slowly to âsoak in the cityâ while taking pictures and getting closer by the second. I donât have long to decide my battle plan: Do I huff and puff and power walk around them into the street and risk being potential roadkill? Or do I suck it up and fall in line behind them for what will seem like the next half hour (10 seconds) and regret my entire existence? No matter what I do, Iâm going to come off as a stereotypical rude New Yorker, and more importantly, Iâm too cute to endure this much stress. Also let it be known that if you make a comment about how "rude" I am because Iâm out here performing a Mission Impossibleâworthy stunt to avoid crashing with your clan, youâre going to catch these hands. (Okay, fine, Iâm lyingâIâm just going to tweet about it later.)
Open space on NYC sidewalks, like in real estate, is scarce, so hereâs what you need to do: Keep. To. The. Right.
Also, please, for the love of everything, do not abruptly stop. I donât care if you dropped your food, if youâre yelling at your partner, or if you want to pet someoneâs dog