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22 excuses that only work in Chicago

Written by
Elizabeth Atkinson

Chicagoans all know the peril of leaving on time (or even early) to meet up with friends, only to be waylaid by buses or trains gone rogue. It seems that only when the stars align are we able to make it on time, or at all. We really did try our best, we promise. Please don't get mad, you might be the one late for brunch next week.

1. "I can't open my door. My landlord didn't shovel the sidewalk."

2. “It’s too cold to wait outside for a bar.”

3. “Wait—you mean I have to take two buses to get there? Sorry.”

4. “I already ordered Postmates and Cocktail Courier.”

5. “But that’s on the opposite side of the city!”

6. “Three buses just passed me and the one I was tracking disappeared.”

7. “My Uber driver’s making up some alternative route that isn’t LSD or the Kennedy.”

8. "The bus is sitting at this light trying to stick to its 'schedule.' Didn't even know it had one."

9. "I missed two trains because the Ventra machine wouldn't let me load money on my card."

10. "Can't stay out late, I have to move my car for street sweeping tomorrow."

11. "Pretty busy this afternoon—I ate a burger from Kuma's Corner for lunch and I still need to take a nap."

12. "I would love to grab a drink, but I have to get to my co-worker's improv show."

13. "You can't park on my street. It snowed last night, and all my neighbors are declaring dibs."

14. "I'm not going to meet you guys tonight, the Uber surge is 4x."

15. "Ugh, the red line ran express from Belmont. Running late."

16. "I'll be late, waiting for the Tamale Guy to show up at the bar."

17. "Running late. Stuck behind a raised bridge."

18. "Blue Line is down!"

19. "I broke my ankle by stepping into a pothole. See you next week?"

20. “My car died in the cold and I'm totally broke.”

21. “I already ate Mexican three times this week.”

22. “Navy Pier? I'm out.”

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