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7 painfully annoying things Chicagoans do on the road

Written by
Anthony Bonazzo
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While the Midwest is known for being a friendly and welcoming region, drivers in Chicago can be downright jerks. That good, old-fashioned Midwestern friendliness doesn't translate to the road, which helps explain why Wisconsinites refer to Illinois drivers as FIBs (Fucking Illinois Bastards). Driving in Chicago can be an incredibly obnoxious experience, especially when other motorists have no regard for anyone else on the road. Here are seven annoying things Chicagoans need to stop doing. 

Failing to wave. When someone lets you into a lane, it's common courtesy to give a grateful wave. You'll rarely see this in Chicago. Sure, it's not the worst thing in the world, but it's nice to be acknowledged for courteous lane usage. 

Not inching up when making a turn. Why are people afraid to approach an intersection? We are taught to slowly pull up to an intersection and make a turn when safe. If you stay all the way back at the light, you're keeping everyone who's behind you from turning. It can be maddening when you get stuck at a light not because the traffic is bad, but because a driver doesn't know this basic rule of the road. It’s not about being an aggressive driver, it's about being a good driver.

Driving slow in the fast lane. If you're driving slow in the fast lane and someone is riding your tail, then get out of the damn lane. The fast lane is designed for people who want to (wait for it) drive fast, not for people who want to take a casual Sunday cruise. 

Speeding up when someone is trying to make a turn or change lanes. I noticed this right away when I first moved here. People who are driving slow, seemingly with nowhere to be, who notice you trying to get into a lane or turn will often speed up to keep you from making a move. This is psychotic.

Failing to use your blinker or look over your shoulder before turning. Chicagoans are big fans of turning without any warning, which is, you know, illegal. You'll see this happen all of the time when heading northbound on Lake Shore Drive on the Near North Side. Traffic gets backed up and people pop in and out of lanes without signaling or checking their blind spots. If you want to get to your destination quickly, why are you risking an accident? 

A complete lack of parallel parking game. If you can't parallel park without backing up traffic, spend a day in a parking lot practicing. I once saw a guy in Wrigleyville unable to park a Honda Civic, and he had three open car spaces. A man smoking a cigarette outside eventually offered to park it for him, and he obliged. Good grief.

Not understanding how four-way stop signs work. If you approach a four-way stop sign and there are three cars already there, it isn’t your turn. Just like when you are getting on the bus and there are 10 people who have been waiting there, you are now the 11th, not the first.

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