Put away your shame. Right now, please.
Because we'd hate for you to miss out. Riding a Segway is pretty fun and you don't have to be a mall security guard in Naperville to do it.
Like most optional things in life, a Segway tour only has to happen once. If it ain’t your cup of tea, not your kind of spice, you never have to do it again. And you’ve probably waited in line for a roller coaster more times than a Segway tour through Chicago would take. There are worse things you could waste your time and money on. Like mixing first date plans with these bars, for example.
In the right light, preferably on a sunny day, you can enjoy a Segway just like the rest of the people who can actually afford to spend their disposable income on one of these roll-y deals.
1. Who gives a shit?
Yes, it’s possible you could look like a complete and total dork riding a Segway, but it’s not like you haven’t looked like that before. In fact, there are so many people in Chicago that most will pass you by without caring who you are or what you look like anyway.
2. Evening tours can hide your embarrassment.
If you really care what you look like, you can take a tour at night. Your ride will get both front and rear lights to ensure your safety, and possibly blind passersby who might notice you.
3. There are several models of Segway.
Who would have thought? Some tours even offer the newest models available.
4. Some Segways even have kickstands.
Remember the satisfying swing of your leg and the nice click when setting the kickstand on your favorite bike from childhood? That’s right. It was freaking great.
5. You will never purchase a Segway anyway.
Segways cost somewhere in the neighborhood of several thousands of dollars. They are completely not worth owning, but renting one cannot and will not hurt you or your wallet.
6. No mosquitoes.
No matter how hot and humid or how recent the rain, you are going just fast enough to feel the wind in your hair (beneath your mandatory helmet) and ward away the most infamous pest in Chicago.
7. You probably haven’t been down to the lake for some time.
Chicagoans are notorious for avoiding the Loop at all costs once the weekend hits. This also means not making it to the museum campus, the gorgeous Buckingham Fountain or the stretch of lake and parks on the other side of Michigan Avenue.
8. It’s a great first date.
Impress an online match with your innate ability to be both humble and a bit silly, showing that there’s more to your personality than pride.
9. Our food editor’s totally solid recommendation.
“I went on a Segway tour, and I had a ball—and I’m accident prone.”