The NFL released the full schedule for the 2015 football season on Tuesday night. Fans and sports media across Chicago are already discussing how the Bears will fare with their schedule this year. So let's throw some more fuel on the dumpster fire that is the 2015 Chicago Bears team and go through the highlights of the upcoming schedule.
Week 1 vs. Packers: The NFL schedule-makers wasted no time in crushing whatever hope and spirit Bears fans may have had for the 2015 season. The fanbase is sure to get riled up and call for new coach John Fox's head after only one game in which Aaron Rodgers and friends embarrass the Bears at Soldier Field.
Week 3 at Seahawks: This is projected to be a massacre. So naturally the Bears will somehow end up pulling a victory out of their asses in Seattle, but fail to beat all the terrible teams on their schedule for the rest of the season.
Week 4 vs. Raiders: Which loss on this day would be more embarrassing? The Bears losing a football game to one of the worst franchises in the league, or the Bears fans in the Soldier Field parking lot losing drunken brawls against visiting members of Raider Nation? Tune in to the police blotter to find out!
Week 7 BYE WEEK: Maybe the Bears can petition the league to schedule another game against the Vikings here so they can squeeze another guaranteed victory to boost morale for the team and fans. It's worth a shot.
Week 12 @ Packers: The Bears play their biggest rival on Thanksgiving night in prime time. If you hate your family, especially in-laws, make sure you subjugate them to this broadcast. I also don't recommend watching this too soon after you finish eating, lest you want to throw your dinner back up.
Week 16 @ Buccaneers: The Bears go down to Tampa Bay to satiate their fans' thirst for revenge against former Bears coach and current Buccaneers coach Lovie Smith. Lovie, as you will remember, is the monster responsible for subjecting fans to the misery of 81 regular season wins over nine years and the team's only Super Bowl appearance since the 1985 season, so the hate he's earned from Bears fans is clearly well-deserved.
Postseason: LOL NOPE.