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Other vigils that should be built in Chicago

 

The latest trend in Chicago seems to be building vigils in honor of our fallen heroes. Last week, a memorial vigil was built underneath I-90 for Derrick Rose's knees, and a few days later another one was erected outside of Johnny O'Hagan's Irish Pub in Wrigleyville for Patrick Kane's broken clavicle.

We applaud the creativity of the artists who created these memorials, and think they should build more around the city to commemorate the people, places and things that are gone but never forgotten in the hearts and minds of Chicagoans. Here's some ideas.

The dignity of Wrigleyville partygoers It was a rough weekend for those who reveled in the St. Patrick's Day festivities in Wrigley over the weekend (this writer included), and whatever dignity any of them may have had was certainly gone after police reported multiple arrests, citations and other incidents on Saturday. It's only fitting to honor these brave party animals with a vigil in a Wrigleyville alley that's made of urine stains, vomit puddles, a guy passed out with an empty beer can in his hand, and a public drinking citation taped to the wall.

Chuy Garcia's chances of becoming mayor Chuy appears to be on the ropes. Rahm's started to publicly attack him in campaign ads and has been critical of Garcia for being unable to provide any solutions for Chicago's problems in Monday night's debate. Worse yet, he trails Rahm in the polls by 10 points, a deficit that is likely to grow in the coming weeks. Even though I say I'm planning to set up a vigil for Chuy's chances at becoming mayor, I'm not actually going to share any specifics or tell you what I'm going to do.

Aaron Schock's Congressional career In terms of corrupt Illinois politicians, Congressman Aaron Schock's resignation over receiving tens of thousands of dollars in mileage reimbursement for his personal vehicle is pretty weak. He had potential to join the pantheon of crooked politicians for lavish misuse of taxpayer funds. To recognize the untapped potential of Congressman Schock's corruption and his expensive lifestyle, we should made a Downton Abbey-themed vigil with subtle nods to his inappropriate spending such as falsified financial statements, receipts for stays at luxury hotels and a gold statue of Schock with his shirt off (partly for the ladies, and partly for him to admire himself).

Chicago landmarks Marshall Field's was changed to Macy's, aliens landed a spaceship on top of Soldier Field and I don't even know what the Sears Tower is actually called now. Now, if all goes according to Hearn Company's plan, the Hancock Center will receive a double-whammy of both a name and structural change. Despite these changes to our beloved landmarks, Chicagoans know what these buildings are really called and how their exterior should appear. For that, we don't need a physical memorial for our landmarks. Simply continue referring to them by their true name.

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