Yep, we are still doing the whole "Da B___" thing. Aramark, the food and beverage provider for 11 NFL teams, unveiled new signature items for each of its clients this week. For obvious reasons, most attention was payed to Cleveland's "Bad to the Bone Bologna," a fried bologna sandwich in the shape of a dog bone, which ironically sounds like fantastic stoner food for a fan base doomed to suffer after the season-long suspension of its weed smoking star.
Locally, Aramark's "tribute to [Chicago] heritage, hometown culinary scene" (according to the press release) is DaBurger Slider, a pepper-jack pork burger with chorizo cream, chipotle barbecue pulled pork, Havarti cheese, thick-cut bacon and crispy potato sticks. Question this concoction's relevancy to Chicago's culinary scene at your will, but you have to admit that tiny little sliders feels wrong for the Bears fan. This thing should be the size of Ditka's face.
Chicago got off relatively easy, considering monstrosities like Kansas City's "Tailgate Stack," a sorrow-heap of burnt ends, cheese sauce, beer syrup, bacon, egg and fried bread. Presumably, these come with the Pepto-Boilermaker, a shot of the pink stuff dropped into a Miller 64 (we just made that up, trademark pending).