As you've probably heard, considering that following professional football is now federal law, the NFL Draft is happening in Chicago in a matter of days. There's going to be a massive NFL Draft Down set up in Grant Park so hypothetical Buccaneers fans can fly to our city and cheer the selection of Jameis Winston. The Bears could potentially pull a shocker, trade their QB and move up the board to replace him. Though the Bears have been pretty wise with their draft picks of late, there was a long stretch of rather boneheaded decisions. Since we can't pick off… er, pick on Jay Cutler here, who was selected by the Broncos, we'll honor No. 6 by picking six terrible, regrettable Bears draft picks. Ever wondered what became of them after they flashed out of the League in a matter of weeks? We did.
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6. Juaquin Iglesias – WR (2009)
His Wiki page awkwardly describes him as a "gridiron football wide receiver." If that sounds rather ESL, it's because he was last playing for the Helsinki Wolverines of the American Football Association of Finland. The team finished seventh out of eight and was relegated.
5. Jarron Gilbert – DT (2009)
Congrats to the Bears on boldly being the first team to draft a meme. Some franchises use metrics like "40 speed" or "career tackles for loss" to find skilled defensive lineups. Chicago snatched up this San Jose State Spartan because of YouTube hits. In a viral video, Gilbert jumped out of swimming pool. It has 4.3 million views. Which is exactly 4.3 million times the number of tackles he made in his one season with the Bears. The sneezing panda might have done better.
4. Rashaan Salaam – RB (1995)
For a solid decade, the Bears Achilles' heel was constantly trying to replace Walter Payton. They threw cash at ANY star college running back. Salaam won the Heisman at Colorado, and it went to his head. He held out of his rookie camp for money, before fumbling nine times in his debut season. The Bears fumbled him off the team not long after. Recently, he was working to promote MMA fighting in China, though he stepped away from that venture. After Salaam, the Bears took defensive end Pat Riley and punter Todd Sauerbrun four picks later. All busts. This is why the team was a diaper pile in the 1990s.
3. Curtis Enis – RB (1998)
A.K.A., the fatter, slower Rashaan Salaam. After the NFL, Enis worked in a garage door factory. More recently, he coached a high school team, but resigned after the school failed to draw enough players to field a varsity squad.
2. David Terrell – WR (2001)
This Michigan pass catcher was the eighth overall pick. The Bears passed up Drew Brees, Reggie Wayne and countless other future Pro Bowlers that year. Sigh. In four seasons, Terrell eked out nine TDs. In 2013, he was arrested in Bronzeville for felony distribution of marijuana and misdemeanor battery. The charges seemed rather bogus, and he was indeed acquitted a year later. Interestingly, the police report had Terrell's date of birth as April 13, 1978, which was listed in his playing career as March 13, 1979. Today, he renovates buildings for affordable housing.
1. Cade McNown – QB (1999)
Jay Cutler is Bart Starr in comparison. (Sorry for the Packers reference, but the Bears haven't had a notable quarterback since color television was invented.) It's easy to forget just how brutal the QB situation was in the Dick Jauron era. But McNown has done well for himself after collecting turf in his face mask while lobbing 19 interceptions and 16 touchdowns for the Bears. He's currently a Vice President at Lourd Murray Capital Management in California.