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Theatergoers say they prefer butts in their faces over crotches in their faces

Written by
Kris Vire

Butt-side or crotch-side? Online ticket discounter Goldstar, which is marking 10 years in the Chicago market this summer, recently surveyed 1,325 of its members about theatergoing etiquette. In one question, Goldstar asked respondents the theatrical equivalent of the eternal toilet paper debate (over the roll/under the roll): When squeezing down a row to get to your seat, is it better to face your fellow patrons (thereby putting your crotch in their faces) or scooch in facing front (butt in face)? 60 percent said butt-side is better.

Other notable takeaways include: 46.3 percent of respondents claim they turn their phones all the way off during shows, while 43.9 percent say they set them to vibrate. Dear 43.9 percent: Vibrate isn't good enough. Everyone around you is still distracted by that buzz-buzz-buzz in your purse. The "noisy neighbor" most reported as annoying was the talker, trailed by the candy-wrapper cruncher (and yet everyone still giggles when the preshow announcement asks us to open our candies now). And just over half of those questioned say they always give a standing ovation for "ovation-worthy work," whatever that means—I suspect the ovation-worthiness is tied to how much they paid for their tickets, so maybe Goldstar users actually give fewer standing O's than the general public.

Goldstar infographic

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