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Theories on how Derrick Rose injured his knee this time

Written by
Chris Bourg

Stop us if you've heard this before: Derrick Rose is hurt. Rose will undergo surgery to treat a meniscus tear in his right knee and faces the possibility of missing the rest of the 2015 regular season and playoffs.

The news of Rose's latest injury came last night during an off day for the Bulls, and there has been no announcement as to how he injured himself this time. However, that doesn't mean we can't speculate on what caused Rose's most recent injury!

Sitting down in team meetings: While recovering from his previous injury earlier in the season, Rose told reporters that he was sitting himself out of games so that he wouldn't be sore during work meetings later in life. Wouldn't it be ironic if the one thing he was trying to preserve himself for later in life is the thing that's actually weakening him? Maybe it's a sign you should be on the court more, Derrick.

Rahm Emanuel's hired goons: The biggest news in Chicago last night was Jesus "Chuy" Garcia forcing an April runoff election against incumbent mayor Rahm Emanuel, despite Rahm's overwhelming endorsements and financial support from several high-profile groups and individuals... except Derrick Rose. An endorsement or even small donation from Rose could have made the difference between holding office and being forced into a runoff election, and Rahm knows that. In the shady game of Chicago politics, I would not put it past the mayor to send over some hard-hittin' goons with pipes to "check on D-Rose's knees."

Getting crossed over in video game basketball: D-Rose was probably playing as himself and the Bulls in NBA 2K15 against his son and got crossed over so bad in the game that he threw his controller into his knee. It's okay to admit that you got schooled in video game basketball against your boy, Derrick. We promise not to laugh too hard at you.

Walking around: At this point, D-Rose has had so much surgery performed on him that his knees are probably held together by shoestrings and rubber bands. I'm amazed he can walk from his bedroom to the bathroom in the morning without having his legs fall apart, which is honestly a likely scenario.

Playing NBA basketball at an MVP-level: More realistically, Rose probably injured himself during the Bulls' last game against the Bucks. Despite all his injuries and the risks he faces, Rose hits the the court and gives his all, night after night, for all the fans, armchair doctors and wanna-be tough-guy Chicago fans and media personalities who never played a sport past high school and constantly rip on him for being soft. Think about that next time you play ball at the YMCA and are sore for three days after the fact.

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