By now, you've heard about the Triple Double Oreo, a chocolate smudge on humanity that takes the form of a regular Oreo with an added layer of cream (this one chocolate flavored) and a third chocolate wafer.
But you probably haven't tasted it yet. Because you love yourself.
Here at Time Out, we're not that smart. One of our online producers, Mark B. (in this post, last names have been left out to protect identities), saw a package of the cookies in a drug store last night and snagged it for the office. He put the package in the office kitchen around noon. Minutes later, they were physically gone. But the cookies remained on the lips of the TOC staff for about an hour—people couldn't stop talking about how small the cookies are.
Yes, you read that correctly. We were collectively disappointed by the size of a cookie—specifically the size of the cream/creme-filling—even though the cookie (filling included) increased its size by 50%.
"Where's the creme filling?" Mark B. asked. "Too much cookie, not enough creme. Double Stuffed still the hands-down winner in the Oreo cookie battle."
"Yeah, very tasty, but not enough cream," Stephanie G. said. "Too much cookie. That's why the double stuffed variety is so good—perfect cream to cookie ratio."
"Too much cookie, not enough filling," said Frank Sennett (identified because he's the one who is making me write this post). "I am holding out for the Double-Stuff Triple Double Oreo, perhaps covered in white chocolate fudge."
Erin O. said: "If this is a cookie on 'roids, then it needs to be greased up a bit more. The dry cookie-to-filling ratio is way off—I need a cow full of milk. Stat."
John D. had a slightly different take: "Ouch. The chocolate and vanilla layers are too distinct. With these two artificial flavors fighting for supremacy, there is no clear winner. This is a disharmonious, mass-produced calorie bomb of a cookie. That said, I wouldn't mind trying it with some milk after a long day of playing touch football in a suburban cul-de-sac."
But Kim R. brought it back to the filling. "The best I can give you is meh," she said. "I thought it was going to be a huge stack of whatever-the-middle-is in between two cookies. It was more like a Double Single as opposed to a Triple Double. A Triple Double should be at least a full inch in height with more middle stuff and have 4 cookies. Nabisco maybe ought to speak with some mathematicians before pulling off something like this."
Now, before you blow up the comments section, you should know that both Kim R. and Stephanie G. are preggers.
The rest of us here have no excuse.