Say goodbye to… Noisemakers that will have you reaching for the Advil
Give them…Silent-but-silly mustaches that your kids can use for dress-up play. $6.50 for a set of seven at Enjoy, An Urban General Store, 4723 N Lincoln Ave, 773-334-8626.
Say goodbye to… Sticky, run-of-the-mill candy
Give them… Retro goodies, like superfun Sixlets, Smarties and NikLNips that’ll let you wax nostalgic with your kids. $1–$1.25 at Enjoy, An Urban General Store.
Say goodbye to… Messy art projects sure to stain your furniture, walls and carpet
Give them… Timeless crafts that will keep kids busy without wrecking your house. Felt Mini’s mobile$1 at Michaels, michaels.com.
Say goodbye to… Yet another small, quick-to-break plastic toy destined for a landfill
Give them… A classic whoopee cushion, guaranteed to elicit endless guffaws from the potty-humor set. $6 for a dozen at orientaltrading.com.
Say goodbye to… Potentially toxic thingamabobs
Give them… Always fun (and nonpoisonous) Silly Putty. When your kids are done bouncing it and copying comics, you can use it to pick up dirt and pet hair. $1.29 at crayolastore.com.