Mötley Crüe + Alice Cooper

We mean this in the nicest possible way, but it's a miracle that these guys are still alive, let alone heading out on their Final Tour with Alice Cooper, also known for his energetic and exciting rock career. Once famed as the most hedonistic band in rock, Motley Crüe spent the '80s in a blur of booze, car crashes and near-fatal heroin overdoses. They're older now, though perhaps no wiser – their most recent album, 2008's Saints of Los Angeles, was at its best when it reprised the ludicrous glam metal that had made these guys so popular in the first place.