By now most of us are familiar with ‘family meal,’ the pre-shift supper shared by staff before a restaurant opens. But even before shows like The Bear gave us a behind-the-scenes look into the goings on in a professional kitchen, there were books about the restaurant tradition, like famed chef Ferran Adria’s The Family Meal, inspired by the dishes eaten by his staff at Spain’s El Bulli.
Spend any time on Instagram following those who work in restaurants, however, and you’ll come across posts of chefs thanking other chefs for their staff’s family meal. While not new, this unnamed practice has been pushed into the public eye via social media. Be it for an opening, an award, a birthday or even an unexpected hardship, Chicago chefs can often be found embracing their industry friends and taking care of one another the way they know best: with food.
Cooking in Chicago since 2006, Lawrence Letrero of Ravenswood’s Filipino-Cuban Bayan Ko distinctly remembers the first time he was on the receiving end of a gifted family meal.
“I was a young line cook at Perennial and during service, we had 50 McDonald’s cheeseburgers delivered,” says Letrero, who believes it came from another Boka Group restaurant.
Since then, he’s returned the favor many times, including for Dear Margaret. “I’m good friends with the chef,” he says. “They had just opened and were crushing it, so I sent over a bunch of Cuban sandwiches.”
During the pandemic, Letrero leaned into the gifting practice and would often drop off extra food he had made to chefs he knew along his delivery route. When he and his wife went to Kasama for dinner for her birthday, they brought along Jollibee fried chicken for the staff.
“Those little gestures can make not just your day but your week,” he says. “Hospitality is what we do and It’s not just for guests; it’s for our community, too.”
During his years cooking in Chicago, Joe Frillman of Logan Square’s Daisies has seen those he’s worked with branch out and open their own restaurants. “The camaraderie still exists,” he says of wanting to celebrate their milestones and achievements with gifted or traded family meals.
Another way Frillman supports other restaurants as well as his staff is by buying family meals. For Christmas, Daisies’ family meal was catered by Perilla. “It’s one of my favorite meals in the city,” he says of the creative Korean restaurant. “I wanted to share it with our staff because they work their asses off and it’s nice not to have them cook family meal once in a while.”
Rather than bring beer for the staff when he dines out, Frillman opts for candy or snacks these days. “We don’t like reinforcing positive or negative behavior with booze because this industry is ripe with alcoholism,” he says. Three-foot subs from Bari are sometimes brought for the cooks to enjoy after their shift.
Erick Williams of Hyde Park’s Virtue and Daisy’s Po-Boy and Tavern is no stranger to giving back, having partnered with many charities over the years. That support extends to his restaurant industry peers too.
During the pandemic, Williams reached out to Lee Wolen after expressing interest in buying one of the Boka chef’s suckling pigs that he posted about. Wolen’s response? He gifted Williams and staff not only the suckling pig but all the sides that came with it as well as fried chicken sandwiches from Wolen’s soon-to-open restaurant, GG’s Chicken Shop. Williams responded in kind with family meal for Wolen’s team.
The gifting thread didn’t end there. When Thai Dang of Pilsen’s HaiSous saw the post, he scheduled a family meal drop for Williams’ team, which was quickly reciprocated. Most recently, Cedric Harden of Urbanbelly dropped off family meal for Williams.
“It’s probably the most intimate space we share as friends and colleagues because there is no revenue around it,” says Williams. “We are just trying to cook the best possible meal for people who do the same thing that we do.”
But the biggest gift Williams received from another chef was the Lula Café gift cards owner Jason Hammel dropped off for his staff to dine at his Logan Square restaurant.
“He believes in what we do, and we believe in what he does,” says Williams. “Rather spend all my time trying to prove who is the better chef, I would much rather spend time supporting people who share both the successes and constant challenges of our craft. It’s encouraging when people show up and don’t want anything in return.”
When the West Loop’s Smyth recently received its third Michelin Star, Wolen acknowledged the achievement by sending over salads, pasta and sandwich trays from his restaurant Alla Vita.
“Wine and Champagne are great ways to celebrate, but I like to take the burden off of the people in the restaurants for a day by bringing family meal,” says Wolen. who’s been on the receiving end from not only Williams, but others as well. Shake Shack has been known to send over burgers and fries to celebrate Boka’s enduring Michelin Star and J.P. Graziano Grocery has sent over sub sandwiches in the past.
“We get into this industry because we like to give,” says Wolen.
Having worked with some of the city’s top chefs, including Alinea’s Grant Achatz and Charlie Trotter, John Shields remembers receiving gifted food often with meals appearing at the restaurants’ back doors constantly.
“At the end of the day, you have to teach hospitality. That’s what Charlie [Trotter] would breathe,” says Shields. “You have to look at the world in a compassionate way and give back when you can.”
Esme’s Jenner Tomaska believes the trend of restaurants gifting food is rooted in the practice of family meal itself, something he learned while working with Williams at mk.
“There are many lessons about staff meal and its importance in hospitality,” says Tomaska. “First and foremost, you’re taking care of each other. That lesson is very important, and it transcends from restaurant to restaurant when it’s gifted.”
At his Lincoln Park restaurant, those gifts can come from within, as when the wife of one of his sous chefs who works for DineAmic Hospitality drops off late-night Bar Siena pizzas at Esme. Then there was the time Schwa’s Michael Carlson and staff stopped by Next, where Tomaska previously worked, dressed in costumes for Halloween and bearing tacos from Big Star. The Schwa team had dined the night before at Next and wanted to thank Jenner and his staff for their hospitality.
When Fry the Coop’s Joe Fontana opened the West Town location of his fried chicken sandwich shop, he reached out to Lula Café’s Hammel, a restaurant and chef he admired, and offered to bring over family meal. “To his credit, he replied right away,” says Fontana, who didn’t know Hammel prior.
While Fontana admits the gesture was a bit selfish on his part as he hoped it would help promote his restaurant, it’s also about establishing a good-neighbor relationship with nearby chefs. It’s a habit he has continued.
“Now over the years, when we open new locations, we reach out to all the restaurants around the neighborhood and see if we can bring them family meal,” he says. “We always believe that all chefs rise with the tide.”
When Galit received family meal from Fontana, the staff sent over a thank-you card with the entire team’s signatures. It proudly hangs on the wall of Lincoln Park’s Fry the Coop.
Trading family meals has also become a regular practice, says Fry the Coop’s Director of Operations Phillip Bruschuk, who experienced it while working for One Off Hospitality.
“For me, coming into a fast casual environment, I still have friends in the industry who I know would like to try our food,” says Bruschuk. “So, we have been delivering happiness and deliciousness to our old friends and making new friends along the way.”
Dana Garvey, who along with her husband Robert are the founders of Streeterville’s Robert’s Pizza, credits a “we are all in this together” attitude that has helped foster the gifting trend. “It’s not just meals that we exchange, but favors,” she says. “Everything from napkins to ice or plates, and even ingredients that someone may be short of in their kitchen.”
In the past, Robert’s sent pizzas, salads and appetizers to Art Smith’s Reunion restaurant as a way to welcome the team to the neighborhood. In return, Smith sent them some of his signature dishes, including his fried chicken.
“It’s part of the ethos of the industry,” says Robert. “The tougher things get, it's one way we can help lighten the load.”
Mordecai and Billy Sunday’s Matthias Merges has seen this practice for decades in cities around the world. “In many restaurants in Europe, chefs cook lunch for their favorite farmers who stop by to deliver their products,” he says. Merges is quick to point out that this gifting practice isn’t limited to restaurants. In the bar industry, a “boomerang” is when one bar sends a set of cocktails to another bar via a client who is making the rounds, he explains.
While working at Charlie Trotter’s, Merges recalls an anniversary celebration of the restaurant that included 30 cheesesteak sandwiches from the Hog Hut at the end of the evening.
“There is a beautiful culture in the restaurant community in Chicago,” says Merges. “It's a tough and demanding business and it's wonderful to celebrate together and surprise our friends with gifts from the heart.”
Alex Gialanella of Tied House echoes that sentiment. “We're all in this together, through the good and the bad,” he says. “We'll always take care of our own in the industry.”