Fred’s at Barneys New York (CLOSED)

Socialites, grab your toy poodles and head to Barneys. NYC import Fred’s sits on the top floor, giving you a new place to nibble on chopped salads. You’ll find the pristine digs, including an exclusive seven-table patio, a much finer attraction than the dishes, though. A springy chicken salad of green beans, pea shoots and avocado was rendered soggy via weighty dressing—and $16 sticker-shock. Too much heat turned a pizza’s prosciutto into wax and dried out a dainty burger. Looking for a treat? Splurge on a Balenciaga tote—not a tiny mold of cold-in-the-center bread pudding.