The best way to get my attention is to grab my downtube.
Let’s see if I can fit my schraeder into your presta.
Say, you wanna grease my stem?
Nice rear rack.
I have twice as many nuts as Lance Armstrong.
You turn my crank.
Come over to my house and I’ll lube your chain.
I need someone to help me get my ball bearings.
I’ve got a nipple wrench—let me check your rim holes.
Derailleur? I barely know her.
Wanna go ride Critical Mass? Because you’ve got a critical ass.