Sure-fire pick-up lines

The best way to get my attention is to grab my downtube.

Let’s see if I can fit my schraeder into your presta.

Say, you wanna grease my stem?

Nice rear rack.

I have twice as many nuts as Lance Armstrong.

You turn my crank.

Come over to my house and I’ll lube your chain.

I need someone to help me get my ball bearings.

I’ve got a nipple wrench—let me check your rim holes.

Derailleur? I barely know her.

Wanna go ride Critical Mass? Because you’ve got a critical ass.