Forever Marilyn statue in Pioneer Court, 401 North Michigan Avenue
I’m gonna take a wild guess and say you’re a tourist. Yep, from Providence, Rhode Island. I actually have to catch a plane back really soon! I’m here for America’s Beauty Show.
Um, is that a reality show? It’s basically a trade show for hair stylists: face, hair and body products. So I’m here to test things out. See these little dazzley things in my hair? That’s tinsel and sparkles from the hair show!
Seems like everything can be bedazzled these days, vajazzling and whatnot. Oh, yeah, I heard about that! That you can stick the shiny things down there. [Laughs]
That’s where the money is, apparently: sticking shiny stuff on your junk. The salon I go to doesn’t do it. Maybe it hasn’t caught on in Rhode Island.
So what are the big trends in hair these days? Hair extensions.
Have you ever gotten a weave? Yes, I have, and I love it! People don’t look down on it the way they used to. It’s not like wearing a wig. It just adds length and fullness.
Is your fur coat real? Does a bear shit in the woods? [Laughs] Yes. I’m gonna say it’s sheared rabbit.
Your boots? Pony hair! From Nordstrom.
Pony hair?! They don’t have to kill the pony or nothin’. It’s just from the tail. You know.
Who are your style inspirations? Uh, J.Lo.
Nicole Richie? Oh, nah! Nah, nah!