Take home the rock (without taking home the ringing in your ears) at the Belmont-Sheffield Music Festival (May 28, 29). Designed to dampen extra loud sounds, these fancypants Earlove ear plugs allow high and low notes to reach your tender ears, while muffling the deafening ones. $16 at earlove.net.
Booze and BBQ sauce abound at Ribfest (Jun 10-12). Prep for the inevitable mess with biodegradable EZ Towels in a tube. $6 at Flight 001 (1133 N State St, 312-944-1001).
What good is attending Green Music Fest (Jun 25, 26) if you can�t tweet-brag your Yo La Tengo sightings? This Five Accessories iPad carrying case is made from repurposed mosquito netting, allowing you to feel morally and technologically superior to those around you. $50 at Andersonville Galleria (5247 N Clark St, 773-878-8570).
Literally walk your �tobacco� right through the gates of North Coast Music Festival (Sept 2-4) without causing a stir. This hidden pocket straps to your lower leg, providing complete secrecy unless you, uh, accidently wear shorts. $16 at rei.com.
Let not rain nor spilled beer prevent thee from finding a proper lawn spot at Grant Park Music Festival concerts (Jun 15-Aug 20). This collapsible chair comes with a novelty cane attachment that shows others just how effing classy you are. $34.99 at Uncle Dan�s Outdoor Gear (3551 N Southport Ave, 773-348-5800).
They�ll probably kick you out of Do Division Festival (Jun 4, 5) if you�re not wearing giant shades. Your cup overfloweth with options at hipper-than-hip LabrabbitOptics (1104 N Ashland Ave, 773-957-4733).
Woodstock is over and so are your days of parading around in soggy bell-bottoms. Protect your ass at Pitchfork (Jul 15-17) with this fold-up waterproof tablecloth. $1 at Family Dollar Store (1533 W Chicago Ave, 312-491-9735).
While you�re busy getting felt up at Northalsted Market Days (Aug 13, 14), stay hydrated (and toxin-free!) with Threadless�s hip line of metal water bottles. $14.99 at target.com.
Lollapa-porta-potties put a damper on one of our favorite fests, Lollapalooza (Aug 5-7). Relieve yourself in comfort�TravelJohnportable urinal converts your piping hot pee into an odorless gel that can be thrown away in an ordinary trash can. $5.99 at Pep Boys (2604 N Elston Ave, 773-395-4444).