Just saw you peel your T-shirt off and start strutting. Is it really that hot?
Fuckin’ sweated through this thing. Wanted to catch some sun on the way home. But I think it’s perfect out, man. Fuck yeah, man. Keep the motor goin’, purrin’ away. Chicago! Fuckin’ go, go, go. Fuckin’ sunshine. Fuckin’ beautiful out. Breakin’ a sweat. Workin’ hard.
Uh, okay. Do the ladies like the bare chest?
They like it, yeah. I might walk over to the beach, actually.
Shave. Oh, yeah. You gotta shave. If I didn’t, I’d be fuckin’ hairier than a gorilla.
You’d be a bear.
I’d be a fuckin’ bear. Hairy is so fuckin’ 1970s.
That ’70s porn-star thing is over, huh?
Yeah. But once you get in that moment—know what I mean?—I don’t think anything matters. Especially after ten drinks. If she likes you, she likes you, and it’s time to roll.
Where are you “workin’ hard”?
The Elysian. It’s a 60-story building. I’m a pipe fitter. It’s a tough job, but you earn your money. Good pay. Hard work.
And you play hard, right? You look like you’ve been out in the sun.
I was at the beach on Saturday. There must’ve been 5,000 people out there. I’ve never seen so many beautiful women in my whole life! As soon as it gets warm out, they come out of the floorboards. Women are pretty much obsessed with looking sexy at all times. It’s pretty much their primary function. Men it’s to work hard and make money. Women it’s to look sexy. I don’t know who’s got it easier. Women make the world go ’round.
Do you have a type?
Unpretentious. Someone who likes to have a few cocktails, maybe see some music, do a little dancin’—you know, that kind of thing. Fuckin’, I’d like to meet a girl at Lollapalooza who’s hot and cool. The women, the wine and the sunshine, dude, that’s what it’s all about!