Worldwide icon-chevron-right North America icon-chevron-right United States icon-chevron-right Illinois icon-chevron-right Chicago icon-chevron-right Heard on the street, December 20, 2012, edition

Heard on the street, December 20, 2012, edition

Funny quotes overheard in Chicago.

Getting drunk is their version of having kids.

Did someone just say genocide and laugh?

I was going to get into the ministry, but then I realized I could love God and a penis.

You’ve got a cootie up your doody shooty.

That shit keeps you skinny and gives you self-esteem.

I’d like a motorcycle, but I can’t have one because I’m a Jew.

Macaroni is like the Rodney Dangerfield of mac and cheese.

I’m sorry, I have trouble hearing girls with my underwear on.

Some red wine and yoga will fix you right up.

I get a text from this motherfucker saying he’s chained to a gurney.

So, my former TA formed a cult.

I’m a natural-born porn star, what can I say?

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