Hyperlocal is the new imported.
“What’s cool to do in Naperville?” “I dunno, probably meth.”
I love Ding Dongs—I just wish they came in bigger packages.
You can’t tell me what to do when you weren’t invited in the first place.
I became mayor of Minneapolis in six years. I was over it.
Can’t say I was surprised. I don’t think I’m surprised by much anymore. It’s kind of depressing.
I’m not sassy, I’m honest.
You don’t see too many angry punks anymore. Their angst is tempered by craft beer.
I once ordered a veggie burger with bacon.
For every ten girls we talk to, one of us has to get her number.
This whole ensemble was dressed by Lane Bryant.