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So that�s what Ira Glass looks like. I thought he was a black woman.
Oh, is that what your cult believes?
It�s been a very teetotaling week for me, so I�m ready to go all out.
That bass player is a dude. He just has a really good body.
A guy outside Planned Parenthood was like, �You want a baby? I�ll give you a baby.�
It�s healthy, I swear. I got it from Whole Foods.
Which of your silver-spoon friends worked at Kmart?
Did I tell you about the time we trolled a GameStop employee?
Every time a baby cries, my uterus shrinks.
I told him I don�t know a lot about cottage cheese but that it�s not good enough for him.
Everyone knows you�re a big fag. It doesn�t mean you�re not also a big jerk.
Heard on the street, February 7, 2013
Funny quotes overheard in Chicago.
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