1/11So that�s what Ira Glass looks like. I thought he was a black woman. 2/11Oh, is that what your cult believes? 3/11It�s been a very teetotaling week for me, so I�m ready to go all out. 4/11That bass player is a dude. He just has a really good body. 5/11A guy outside Planned Parenthood was like, �You want a baby? I�ll give you a baby.� 6/11It�s healthy, I swear. I got it from Whole Foods. 7/11Which of your silver-spoon friends worked at Kmart? 8/11Did I tell you about the time we trolled a GameStop employee? 9/11Every time a baby cries, my uterus shrinks. 10/11I told him I don�t know a lot about cottage cheese but that it�s not good enough for him. 11/11Everyone knows you�re a big fag. It doesn�t mean you�re not also a big jerk.