He’s the Mexican Paula Deen.
A heroin addict from outer space—I don’t know how else to describe her.
It’s like a whiskey Theraflu.
“I tried singing this at karaoke once. It didn’t go too well.” “That’s because you’re not a douche bag.”
Your father looks like the kind of guy who would deny that his daughter has sex.
Nothing looks less attractive than when a woman can’t walk in her high heels.
“I’m still all damp back here.” “Honey, I feel damp all the time.”
I paid off a cop a thousand a week. I never had a problem.
That shit was so crazy I almost choked on my Pop-Tart!
Gary Sinise would fuck your girlfriend at your own party.
I’m a poor person. I smoke one-hitters.