Adrenaline junkies scare me more than real junkies.
I’m getting into my state-fair rock phase.
Costco is the opposite of Cambodia.
“It smells like a girl I knew in sixth grade.” “It smells like a girl we all knew in sixth grade.”
What’s your profession, you sell real estate or some shit?
Chet Coppock demands blood!
The Rasta cab has no meter.
Fat people love the grocery store; it’s the amusement park of bad choices.
Tequila goes straight to my vagina.
He only gave me a bro hug when you left the room.
We were looking at the porn titles at the hotel. What was the taco one?
As soon as she won her Oscar, she turned into a cougar.