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Heard on the street, November 15, 2012, edition

Funny quotes overheard in Chicago.

Talking about plan B just makes you horny.

Everyone is on the spectrum. That’s why it’s a spectrum!

I’m just glad I’m not selling upside-down cross T-shirts to 14-year-olds anymore.

That was the guy from the booze cruise that just had his second baby.

Europeans really love camo print, but the gray kind.

That movie is basically just Josh Hartnett with bed head walking around with his mouth slightly open.

She pulled the dying-mom card. What was I supposed to do?

I do my best thinking on the shitter.

It takes too much energy to be nice.

You pulled a knife at a birthday party. What do you think was gonna happen?

That is one of my strong suits: being a dick.

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