You’re always gonna be the sexual predator in this relationship.
Yeah, that’s what I want: to get my eyes Lasik’d next to a kiosk selling Big Johnson shirts.
I feel like he puts bacon between all the sound waves. His music is that good.
She’s kind of a downer. She doesn’t drink at all, and I can’t maintain that kind of relationship.
I don’t kinda wish that. I fully wish that shit!
Blond guys always have health insurance.
If I were dating a girl that gave a massage like that, I’d marry her, too.
We’ve got narwhal fever!
I was doing shots by myself and the next thing I knew I was following Carly Rae Jepsen on Twitter.
Everyone in this movie looks like they just stopped doing porn.